This very sad thing happened. An Iranian official, President Raisi, died in a helicopter crash. Known as the "butcher of Tehran" and crusher of reformers, the United States State Department and other radical leftists as well as Islamic fundamentalists sent their condolences.

Tragically, the pro-Hamas students have gone home for the summer, so Ebrahim Raisi won't get the eulogy he so richly deserves. At least Iran's hardline fundamentalists will be able to pay proper respects.

(puts finger to earpiece)

Wait. I'm being informed that Iowahawk will be declaring a special period of mourning to honor the good former President Raisi.

Let us all face Austin, Texas and pay our Iowahawk tribute to our fallen terrorist.

Classic!

WKRP in Tehran.

OK, now that we go the puns out of the way ...

And don't call me Shirley.

We legitimately feel bad for the Millennials and Gen Z who never heard these jokes.

Like we just said!

Musical interlude!

We beg to differ.

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