Better make this Halloween an epic one, people. And cancel any Thanksgiving or Christmas plans you may have for this year. Because, according to 'scientists' in 'a new study,' the aliens are coming, and they are at least as mean as those ones in Independence Day.
And, like the beginning of Ghostbusters II, we have an oddly specific date about when they will attack and wipe us all out.
A mysterious intergalactic object could potentially be a 'hostile' alien spacecraft that’s slated to attack our planet in November, according to a controversial new study by a small group of scientists.
'The consequences, should the hypothesis turn out to be correct, could potentially be dire for humanity,' the researchers wrote in the inflammatory paper, which was published July 16 to the preprint server arXiv, South West News Service reported.
Wait, November? THIS November?
Why, that barely gives us any time to take down the Halloween decorations and put up our 'Alien Armageddon' decorations.
And just exactly how do these 'scientists' know that these are 'hostile' aliens and not the Alf or E.T. type?
Dubbed 3I/ATLAS, the interstellar entity was discovered on July 1, rocketing toward the sun at more than 130,000 mph, Live Science reported. Less than 24 hours later, it was confirmed to be an interstellar object with initial observations suggesting that it could be a comet that measures up to 15 miles in diameter — larger than Manhattan.
However, in the new paper, the trio of researchers suggested that it might be a piece of extraterrestrial spy technology in disguise.
One of the researchers, Avi Loeb — a prominent Harvard astrophysicist known for linking extraterrestrial objects to alien life — previously made waves after floating the theory that 2017 interstellar object ʻOumuamua could be an artificial recon probe sent by an alien civilization, based on its odd shape and acceleration.'
Hold on. They can disguise themselves as comets now?
Why those gray-skinned, green-blooded, stealthy bstrds!
By now, it's probably obvious that we are rolling our eyes all the way into the back of our heads at this latest 'prediction' from Harvard's finest.
Either that, or we roll our eyes like that because we are part of the aliens' advanced recon strike force.
Who can be sure?
All we know is that X was not exactly panicked at this new date certain for humanity's obliteration.
Whew. That's good news. We still have those. No need to send William Shatner and the crew of the Enterprise back in time to find some.
We always kind of suspected that Bill Clinton was an alien.
We see no need for any of that.
We're also going to stop folding our laundry ... especially the fitted sheets.
Aliens aren't stupid. They saw War of the Worlds.
They're not going to attack in the summer when it's all hot and muggy and the air is filled with germs. Best to wait until the fall when it cools off and there are no mosquitoes that could bite them and eradicate their entire species.
Dammit, Roy! Did you start another intergalactic war?
Could an alien invasion be any more shocking than, say, anything Rashida Tlaib decides to do on any given day?
We're not sure aliens understand our ability to fight back. If we can handle HR scheduling an all-hands meeting on a Friday afternoon, we can handle them.
Not even phasers.
All those gun grabbers are going to be getting on their knees and thanking God that we have the Second Amendment now, aren't they?
Of course, there is the chance that Hollywood is wrong and we wouldn't stand a chance against hostile extraterrestrials.
Jeez. Way to bring the mood of the room down, man. Thanks a bunch!
But if all else fails, Earth has the ultimate wild card that no alien could ever anticipate.
It is that hero's time to shine!
Also, we have Tom Homan, and we've all seen how good he is at repelling and expelling aliens.
Needless to say, we think we're going to be OK, despite the latest apocalyptic warning from 'scientist' Avi Loeb and his friends.
However, if your Thanksgiving involves having to visit with your nasty liberal Aunt Peggy, the coming alien invasion might be the perfect excuse to bow out this year.
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