Note: The following story contains satire.
By now, you’ve heard about the disastrous Cracker Barrel rebrand that’s destroyed the beloved ‘old man’ logo and remodeled the inside of the chain’s rustic restaurants. Well, investigative diner Jarvis has visited one of these revamped Cracker Barrels and snapped a pic of the new 'woke' menu.
Is it worse than you imagined? (READ)
That sounds like DEI talk to us.
Commenters have seen the menu and tried the food. They say it’s pretty good despite tasting a little queer.
Well, the batter was genderfluid, so that makes sense.
Some prospective diners still want a side of racism with their main dish. How is this still happening in 2025?
From black or brown chickens!
Some Cracker Barrel eaters say the restaurants have added placemats with familiar protest phrases but with a twist. It's the old-style Cracker Barrel we've always loved.
‘Get over here, colonizer! It’s time for breakfast, BLM-style!’
One poster says something on the menu made them feel bite-curious.
Preview of upcoming Cracker Barrel ad campaign pic.twitter.com/off4aqCIAG
— Western Lensman (@WesternLensman) August 20, 2025
@grok please generate 5 satirical woke menu items from Cracker Barrel
— Dale Winger (@DaleWinger) August 22, 2025
2. Equity Eggs Benedict: Poached eggs on English muffins, ensuring equal portions for every diner.
3. Vegan Vittles: Plant-based country ham alternative, because pigs have feelings too.
4. Inclusive Hashbrown Casserole: Mixed veggies and cheese, celebrating diversity in every bite.
5. Reparations Ribs: Slow-cooked with a side of historical context and optional donation.
Cracker Barrel’s 'milk' does not come from cows. It only uses 'milk' created from soy, rice, or almonds, of course.
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