We are living in the stupidest, most bizarre timeline nowadays, and sometimes you just HAVE to laugh at the absurdity of it all. This writer has got you covered on that front today, dear readers! Do y'all remember John and Lorena Bobbitt? In 1993, Lorena Bobbitt, who has claimed to be a victim of domestic violence, took ... matters ... into her own hands, quite literally. After being allegedly raped by her husband John, she took an 8-inch kitchen knife to the part of him that every man only wants treated nicely, and then proceeded to chuck it out of the window of her moving car into a field in Manassas, Virginia.
He had a successful reattachment surgery, however, and Lorena was found not guilty of wounding her husband due to temporary insanity brought on by the trauma she'd endured.
All caught up? Excellent! That brings us to why John has found himself back in the news now. See for yourself:
See what we mean about needing to laugh at the absurdity of this timeline we exist in? LOL
That's another fact about this insane case: yes, John Wayne Bobbitt dabbled in pornography AFTER his reattachment surgery.
We guess he's just not cut out for getting through this life wholly intact.
According to the article, John was diagnosed with toxic peripheral polyneuropathy after being exposed to contaminated water at the Camp Lejeune military training facility in the late 1980s. We wonder if he'll see any money from those class-action suits we always see on the infomercials?
LOL RIGHT?!
That's completely fair these days.
That's right, first O.J. and now this.
Yeah, the first go-around was arguably far worse for the guy. Yeesh!
Looks like the piggies decided to cut ties and strike out on their own!
Life is going to end up costing this man an arm and a leg by the time he's done.
John - start being more careful, man!