In the annals of punk rock history, there are some seminal, definitive moments: the debut of The Ramones at CBGB in 1974, Henry Rollins joining Black Flag, the cover to The Clash's legendary album London Calling, L7's Donita Sparks stripping while performing on live TV, Iggy Pop inventing crowd surfing, a mosh pit and riot breaking out when FEAR performed on Saturday Night Live, and of course, the Sex Pistols famous appearance on The Bill Grundy Show in 1976. 

You know who's never been listed as an iconic punk band with any iconic punk moments? Green Day.

'But they play their songs fast. And they have tattoos. and Billie Joe Armstrong has green hair sometimes.'

Yeah, nope. Green Day are the Muppet Babies of punk and always have been. They're a punk band if punk bands were exclusively designed and manufactured by corporate marketing departments. 

And last night, they proved it again by appearing on Ryan Seacrest's -- yes, Ryan Seacrest's -- New Year's Eve show.

Wow, so edgy. Almost as edgy as their perfectly curated outfits -- that probably each cost more than your mortgage payment -- for their appearance on the show. 

Needless to say, X was less than impressed with this 'act of rebellion' by Armstrong and Green Day.

Since when did it become 'punk' to be the stooges for the Washington, D.C., establishment? Did anyone consult Bad Brains on this new direction for D.C. punk? 

In fairness, Green Day was serving the corporate establishment even when they were in their 20s. 

Congratulations? 

If we're going to change the lyrics to their songs, might as well strive for accuracy. 

Maybe Armstrong will announce his transition next New Year's Eve. 

Look, let's be honest. You don't get invited to perform on Ryan Seacrest's show if there is anything remotely resembling punk about you. You get invited to perform if nothing at all you do or say will be controversial to the corporate overlords at ABC or Disney. 

HA. Almost certainly. And quintuple boosted. Because THAT'S punk, LOL. 

We also remember when Green Day demanded that people going to their shows be vaccinated. 

Were their concerts sponsored by Pfizer too? 

Except, as we've said, Green Day was never rebellious. Not for a second of their entire engineered career. 

OUCH. 

LOL. That'll be their next show. An Earth Day fundraiser for AOC and Greta Thunberg. 

People should say things like this more often. It has the benefit of being true while also really pissing off the leftists who think they're still the 'rebels.'

Or, in the words of an ACTUAL punk rock legend ...

Oh, but it's true, Johnny Rotten. Every word of it. 

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