Note: The following story contains satire.

Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont launched his coast-to-coast ‘Fighting Oligarchy’ tour in the oceanside city of Omaha, Nebraska Friday night. It’s the perfect place to start the tour since it is common knowledge oligarchs prefer flat terrain and are known to frolic between long rows of corn.

Ooooh, check out the official poster. (READ)

Sanders is hitting hotel conference rooms and small theatres in his quest to spar with oligarchs.

It’s hard for commenters to take Sanders seriously.

Told ya!

Tickets are free. We thought this was just a quick cash grab for the aging Senator. Maybe Sanders is satisfied with the three homes he owns. We do appreciate him leveraging his millionaire status against billionaires for us middle-class Joes. We’re not the only ones.

Maybe this tour is just an excuse for Sanders to scout out a location in America’s Heartland for a fourth home.

Wait, which coasts are Iowa and Nebraska near, again?

Many are not aware that the tour’s original name was ‘Fighting Oligarchy and Threats to Democracy During Our Constitutional Crisis’ or FOATTDDOCC for short. That was abandoned since it was deemed too long for promotional banners.