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Twitchy
twitchy.com
5 Dec 2024
Warren Squire


NextImg:Beer Banshees: ‘Journos’ Shriek Over Pete Hegseth Drinking Alcohol on St. Patrick’s Day

Notice: This Twitchy article covers a legacy media story which relies on anonymous sources. As with any media story that relies on ‘sources say’ you should treat it as fake news. Now on with the show!

Drinking on St. Patrick’s Day is a given, like eating turkey on Thanksgiving or downing candy on Halloween. Well, that’s if you’re normal and honest. If you’re Washington Post ‘journalists’ or alleged anonymous Fox News employees and you see Pete Hegseth throwing back brews on St. Patrick's Day it’s a scandal! Stop the presses, a man is drinking on St. Patrick’s Day! What is this world coming to?

Let’s get chugging.

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Nothing has less credibility than a ‘sources say’ story unless something worse is added. Oh look, ‘journos’ added something worse.

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Wait, we have breaking news! Sources are telling us Hegseth drank champagne on New Year’s Eve! In fact, he’s done this every year of his adult life! Now, back to our Twitchy article!

Wow, they’ve got him now! Who knows what this madman does on Independence Day?

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Assuming this story is real, ‘journalists’ are purposely leaving out some important context of why TV news employees drinking alcohol in the morning is not as big a deal as they are pretending it to be.

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We have former TV News employees working for Twitchy. The writer of this article you’re reading right now is one of them. He vouches for the above posters. They’re all right.

Of course, Hegseth is a Republican, so when it comes to consuming alcohol it’s just (D)ifferent somehow.

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Yes, even a belch has more substance than this Washington Post story. Wait, more breaking news that proves what a violent man Hegseth is! Details are just coming in! This could be the big one! We’re hearing something about a pumpkin and a knife! We’ve got him now!