There is an old saying that whenever someone, especially a politician, offers an opening statement followed by the word 'but,' you can ignore everything that comes before the but. 

For instance, like Tim Walz once said, 'I support the First Amendment, BUT we should place limits on free speech.'

This rule almost always holds up. But based on recent coverage of certain news events, we may need to add a corollary to that axiomatic adage: 

Whenever someone starts a statement by saying, 'According to CNN ...', you can ignore everything that comes after the 'CNN.' 

Last night, a hilarious trend started on Twitter to illustrate this new rule. It started with CNN's claims (based on their usual suspicious sourcing) that the recent U.S. bomb strike against Iranian nuclear facilities really didn't cause any serious damage.

'According to CNN,' was most prominently displayed by leftist engagement farmer, and general all-around lawn flamingo Brian Krassenstein, though others like Ed Krassenstein and Harry Sisson soon picked it up and ran with it.

Ooooh. It's 'URGENT' and 'BREAKING.' That's how you know it must be true. 

The only problem is that CNN's 'report' originated with Natasha Bertrand, the infamous architect of 'Russia collusion' and 'Hunter Biden's laptop isn't real.' And Bertrand has exactly no significant sources within the Trump administration. All she had was an initial, low-confidence satellite assessment.

As Twitchy reported yesterday, everyone from President Trump to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth hammered her and CNN for another piece of fiction. Even the IAEA has stated that the strikes were devastating. 

But we'll thank Krassenstein and Bertrand for one thing, if not the facts. They did spawn a hysterical trend on X, as many people chimed in to note other things that were true, 'according to CNN.'

And just like that, the trend was off and running. 

Come on, man! Karine Jean-Pierre and Jen Psaki can barely keep up with him. 

The best Biden ever. Right, Joe Scarborough? 

You know, just some 'peaceful' rocket barrages. 

LOL. And according to CNN, Olivia Julianna is 'svelte.'

Yes, believe it or not, that's exactly what CNN's Erin Burnett said yesterday. We even have the video to prove it. 

Yikes. 

Maybe jihadists welcomed Burnett so warmly because they recognized that CNN is on their side. 

We'd be surprised if they haven't started calling him that already.

CNN is starting to make Jim Cramer's track record look downright impeccable by comparison. 

Wow. That's YUGE, if true. 

Whoops. 

It quickly became clear that 'according to CNN' has about the same weight of truth as the flat earth theory.

OK, that works too. 

Eighty percent at a minimum. 

HA. 

Every time we hear it, our eyes roll right back into our skull. 

LOL. CNN isn't just a collection of apparatchiks; they are also very bad at acting. 

But there was one more 'BREAKING' report yesterday that was devastating to the Trump administration, 'according to CNN.' 

HAHAHAHAHA. 

And, we're done. 

Except to say that if you ever find yourself trying to bluff your way through a hand of high-stakes Texas Hold 'Em, the worst thing you could possibly tell the other players is, 'According to CNN, I have pocket aces.'

Editor's Note: The mainstream media continues to deflect, gaslight, spin, and lie.

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