Elon Musk is worried about the population crisis. China, South Korea, and the Western world generally fret about demographic decline. In tandem with these recent alarms, conservative commentators Matt Walsh and Tomi Lahren sparked another clash of ideas on this broad argument about the decline of family life. Tomi says that men need to grow up, and Walsh pointed out that women selfishly want to live single lives. People are not getting married, and they aren’t having kids. We get it, and it’s a problem. What is to be done?
Bethany Mandel of The New York Post suggested that the financial and employment challenges are too great. Her critical commentary has a point: A $5,000 Trump family bump bonus is not going to cover the costs of making family life affordable. Much of the discussion, especially with its focus on tax policy, is missing a bigger problem with the marital world and movement.
Sure, marriage decline is a cultural problem. People want their freedom, and they don’t care about kids. Sexual gratification is easier to obtain than ever. On a more serious note, marriage for the modern man isn’t worth the sacrifice. It’s not just about the easy access to sex or the loose sexual mores. Feminist political machinations have become so entrenched that men don’t have rights or nearly the standing which they need—and deserve—to make marriage viable. For men, marriage has become a zero-sum game, in which they get the zero, and the woman can get the sum of everything, and the men have to lump it.
The problem with the marriage sacrament, and the reason why men are not getting married, is the feminized saturation of our legal culture. Women now have all the rights, and men have all the responsibilities. You cannot sustain a marriage of any meaning on such a lopsided, one-sided moral calculus. Women are taught to not have to honor men or submit to their leadership in a marriage. The divorce laws are so lax, men see no incentive to marry when a woman can easily dissolve the marriage, walk away with half of everything, keep the kids, and the ex-husband still pays for everything. I cannot tell you how many men have shied away from marriage because of this all too potential scenario.
Sure, women need love, but men need respect. A woman can share that she loves her man all day, but if she cuts him off in front of people, belittles him in front of the children, mocks his accomplishments, and ignores the truth that he is just as deep and committed to the well-being of his children and family as the wife is, then he is not getting any respect.
In the modern West, women are learning that men have to earn their respect. He is supposed to do everything to ensure she is happy, disregarding his needs. Doesn’t she have obligations, too? Where are the courses teaching women to discipline their own developmental, behavioral, and emotional issues and become fit wives and mothers?
This marriage collapse is a worldwide problem, too.
Chinese men are facing unprecedented legal barriers as well as cultural crises in their quest for family. Marriage dowries, a traditional custom a hundred years ago, have become an inexorable burden for men. Men outnumber women in China (due to evil abortive family planning policies under the Chinese Communist Party), and women have all the leverage. They can demand exorbitant dowries, which most men cannot afford.
Indian men are frequently put upon legally. Why? False accusations of rape and abuse by women, and in all these cases, men automatically lose. Where have we seen this before? The #MeToo movement in the United States, of course. No one is suggesting that we should revert to a time when women were mere property, subject to abuse with no recourse. But the solution is not to turn men into powerless property figureheads with no rights, either. Men’s rights activist groups are now flourishing in the country.
In Japan, men have resorted to marrying fictional characters! Akihiko Kondo faced repeated rejection and humiliation from women, including in the workplace, so he fell in love with anime. Notice the longstanding problem of anti-male disrespect and humiliation. Japanese Women don’t think they have obligations, and men are checking out.
Across the world, men are on strike because society has struck them. But Baby Busts can turn into Baby Boomlets. Consider South Korea.
South Korea is not addressing fairness in the family court system (since they are not dealing with man-eating feminism like other Western countries), but government policy makers and general consensus builders are encouraging, not forcing, businesses to offer more pro-family-friendly policies. This measure is better than “Here’s $5,000 a year for diapers.” They are fostering different attitudes within the country, restoring a sense of honor and joy in the raising of a family. It’s not just about money, but rejuvenating the culture to view family life as positive, not a negative. It also helps that South Korea does not have a no-fault divorce!
To resolve the fertility crisis, Western nations must implement drastic steps beyond broad tax reform:
End no-fault divorce. Why should a man step into a marriage if the wife can walk away for any reason?
If couples are contemplating divorce, institute a required six-month to one-year cooling-off period first.
If there is a divorce, end the female privilege in the court systems. She should not get automatic custody just because she’s a woman.
Eradicate the anti-male aspects of DEI, CRT, and every other quota system in our education systems. Anti-male sentiment is invidious discrimination and should not be tolerated.
Promote home economics courses in public education, stressing the importance of respecting men as well as women.
Encourage (not force) businesses to recognize the importance of families. Big Business needs to move away from “No Child Girl Boss” as an ideal.