I think I am going to form a hip-hop group with some of my retired officer friends that we will call the Phat Generalzzz – dibs on being the human beatbox! That is, of course, a ridiculous idea, but you know how it differs from the nonsense the Dems keep trying to sell us? The difference is that I don’t mean it. I am not actually going to form a hip-hop group with some of my retired officer friends that we will call the Phat Generalzzz, though if I did, I would call dibs on being the human beatbox. But the Dems are serious about the ridiculous stuff they say and seek to put in effect as policy; in fact, they are positively solemn when they explain that it’s good for generals to be fat, that Trump is “Hitler 2: The Quickening,” and that dudes can totally get preggers.
Look, no one expects less from Democrats and their cuckold-curious former Republican fellow travelers than I do – one can literally not expect less from them; it’s been proven scientifically impossible. Yet, even I had to pause, scratch my head, and scan it for sarcasm (“IT’S CLEAN – NO SARCASM DETECTED”) when I saw that Sam Stein, who is some sort of poobah at one of the Dispatchwark Project outlets, tweeted with Margaret Dumont levels of fussy outrage that Hegseth fat-shamed the generals.
He did this on purpose, people.
Now, if he were trying to be funny, it would have been mildly amusing, but he wasn’t – when you join up with those groups, you agree to certain mandatory restrictions, like not having a sense of humor and not being allowed within 1000 feet of an elementary school. No, this guy was serious. He was mad that Pete Hegseth confronted the brass with his anti-fatassary agenda. So were the rest of his commie friends. Yes, he and his Dem dominatrixes were coming down foursquare in favor of the US military replacing blitzkrieg with Pritzkerkrieg.
And they did it with not just straight faces, but with those sour, super-serious faces you might see on MSNBC – is it still even called that? – during their daily announcement that “Today, once, again, Trump has finally crossed over the line into Third Reich territory with his shameless doing of things that he promised to do before winning the last election. Oh, well, I never!” No wonder normal people look at the Dems and wonder if they say insane things intentionally, or if it’s some strategy that we lesser beings cannot comprehend that involves the use of incomprehensibly stupid assertions to crowbar open the Overton Window.
You’ve got to wonder if they actually believe this stuff, or if they are simply saying the things that might keep their sociopathic left wing mutant allies from murdering them, too. In fact, some of those consultant-driven mini-videos that they’re all tweeting now – why do they all hold the lapel mic in their hand in front of their face, as if it were a demitasse cup of espresso from some continental café? – look more like hostage videos. “Why yes, we need to have a lumbering yeti with its member and its two buddies swinging from the yardarm in the teenage girls’ locker room because Rosa Parks would’ve wanted it that way!” they assert, eyes darting off camera to the frowning blue-haired 23-year-old gender studies major who is supervising them with a ring through her nose, looking like Ferdinand the Bull except significantly less hot.
They are already in failure stasis. Look, when you go Nazi, you have a rhetorical problem. You can’t go further. You can’t do worse. You’re at max epithet – or, as celebrated wine woman heartthrob and capering lib court jester Ta-Nehisi Coates says, max “epitaph.” You’re not going to out-Hitler Hitler. There’s no guy out there who Hitler would say, “Wow, I’d sure hate to be compared to him because he really sucks!” But you also can’t go backwards. There’s no retreat, because the guy is Hitler. It’s not like Hitler’s got his good points to be emphasized during your walk-back. So, you’re stuck. You’ve crossed the rhetorical event horizon. Once you go Hitler, you can’t do more and you can’t do less. You’re stuck with Der Führer on endless replay.
So, they’re treading water both because they can’t change their argument and they don’t dare to. They might get hurt. These guys are trapped between rock-heads and the hard cases, between the indescribably stupid and the lethally malignant forces in their party that cannot abide them saying anything that normal people might agree with. The normal people are hypothetical. They’re not right there, in your face, threatening you either with condemnation on the interwebs or with a primary or even with a rifle. But the hard left is. This is why Dem pols can’t back down. This is why they’ve got to go all in on stuff that every single person with a functioning brain cell knows is going to alienate normal people.
And it’s not just politicians. It’s all the lefty cultural bigwigs. Take academics, please. At Harvard, after everything that has gone on, with the Republican Party in power and looking to pillage academia for foregoing academics in favor of commie insanity, they decided to hire a new professor. The professor is from Southeast Asia, apparently. It’s adrag queen named LaWhore Vagistan – get it? And apparently it’s going to teach a course, in what I don’t know, but I think we’re pretty safe to assume it’s not particle physics.
When not only the majority political party is coming down on you, but the society is coming down on you for abandoning your job and actively undermining our culture, this would probably not be the smartest course of action. You might consider rethinking some of your positions, maybe hiring some conservatives to show that you’re even-handed, and putting the kibosh on the Looney Tunes faculty. But no. “No, let’s find some pervert and put it front and center. That’ll show you knuckle-dragging normals!”
Yes, that’ll show us knuckle-dragging normals that your institution can’t be reformed. Good to know. Now, your institution has to be destroyed.
The left is just waking up to the fact that we no longer respect their institutions. They thought they could feed like maggots off the corpse of the institutions they killed and gutted and wore like skin suits. But we noticed the institutions didn’t care about us, and we stopped caring about them. They thought we would default to deference forever. Nope. Now, our default is to blow it all up and their dream of a pinko utopia with it. Being insane can be fun in the sense that you’re totally free of any limits. You could do or say anything, and that’s kind of cool. But only for a little while. Only till you realize that other people aren’t required to go along with your nonsense. That’s how it was for the left. They thought they had free run of society. They thought there would never be any accountability. But now there is, and they don’t know what to do. They can’t change. They’ve walked themselves into a rhetorical box canyon and, even if they could get out, Liz Warren and the woke Comanches are waiting to take their scalps.
Oh, well. The failure of our enemies is our opportunity. We just have to make the most of it. Now, we Republicans are burdened by the fact that our party includes Republicans. But lately, we have been doing well by focusing on things that normal people understand. Dudes can’t get pregnant. Trump isn’t Hitler. And no, generals shouldn’t be fat.
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