You have probably heard about the Democrats’ awkward attempt to reach out to young men, but enough about the uproar over the Navy ship named after Harvey Milk. The Democrats just spent about $20 million to find out that men don’t like being disliked. This shocked the Dems and no one else. After all, disliking men is central to the ideology of the Democrat Party 2025; multiply that contempt by infinity if said men are both straight and of pallor. It seems like a risky idea to decree that about 50% of your potential voters are unwelcome; it seems especially risky to go so far as to idolize men who pretend not to be men at all. But hey, I want the Democrats to lose, so this is great.
Men aren’t perfect, and testosterone can become a hallucinogen – see the recent dust-up between Elon Musk and Donald Trump – but they sure beat the alternative. Now, that’s not just my opinion; that’s Democrat gospel. After all, the Dems have made a key sacrament of their weird, pagan weather goddess religion the idea that men make exponentially better women than women do. Lately, the news has been full of men crushing girls in track and field, softball, and even boxing. You’ve come a long way, baby – now get out of the winner’s circle and make way for Velma and her penis.
Fake Grrrrl Power! What can’t it do?
Well, it can’t get men to vote Democrat. Not real men, anyway. They have nailed down the Tim Walz contingent. Unfortunately for them, no real man wants anything to do with Tim Walz. Comical shotgun mishandling, jazz hands, and having a less sterling wartime deployment record than Da Nang Dick Blumenthal are not going to attract the testicularly-endowed. But they just don’t get it. They’re still letting this mincing, prancing doofus go out in public in their name to call ICE “the Gestapo,” Trump “Hitler,” and Top Gun: Maverick “a real let-down” because it didn’t have a volleyball scene.
Democrats have made the conscious choice to be the party of young women, specifically young liberal women, and this itself is risky because recent research indicates that young liberal women are, by and large, insane. Again, that’s not just me and everybody else observing what’s clearly manifest on social media – that these chicks are complete lunatics. It’s scientifically proven by Licensed and Approved Science™. According to the Official Experts, a stunning 56.3% of liberal women between the ages of 18 and 29 have some form of mental illness. The revelation that a little more than half of liberal women within this cohort are nuts is stunning because it’s so low; based on my online observations, I would estimate that the real number is about 95%, with the 5% in the negative category only registering that way because their mental pathology is so profound that psychiatry is incapable of classifying them. They’re basically purple-haired, daddy-issued Hannibal Lecters, except they want to eat your soul with avocado toast and a nice kombucha.
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They’ve decided to outsource their outreach to various alleged Democrat influencers. Of course, the danger is that they’re going to influence men to be even more right-wing. You had Harry Sisson, who at least tried to score with girls, however ineptly. You’ve got David Hogg, not exactly the manliest of men; he’s pretty much the Private Upham of the Democrat Party, only less butch. And then there’s that hefty lady they want to send around to frat houses to chill with the bros. Democrats can’t understand that real men are more interested in bikini-clad Princess Leia than Jabba the Hutt.
It’s not clear what the goal of this introspection kabuki theater really is, but it’s almost certainly the dumbest of the two possible options. The first option is that Democrats are reaching out to men to learn what they want and to modify their positions in order to appeal to men who have been alienated by the policies of the Democratic Party. However, it’s unlikely that’s why they are doing this. After all, their bizarre witches' brew of social pathologies that passes for an ideology is less a collection of reason-derived positions than of divine mandates. They fill up that hole inside themselves where God is supposed to be with what Norm MacDonald accurately described as “commie gobbledygook.”
The other option is the real reason they’re reaching out to men. They want to find a more effective way of pestering, hassling, and nagging men into compliance. The problem isn’t that men don’t like what the Democrats are selling. It doesn’t matter to them what men like. They want men to shut up and obey. You know the kind of man they want us all to be – the sad dude sitting at the corner in the neighborhood party, afraid to get a second beer because his SSRI-goblin wife will hit him over the head with her “Hate Has No Home Here” sign. You watch him trudge to his Prius every morning, his soul growing a little deader each day, and wonder if this is the Tuesday he finally snaps and runs off with Kayla from accounting or if he’ll just endure it until freed by the sweet release of death.
They want a nation of that guy, and they are angry because none of us wants to be that guy. How can we be so selfish that we won’t utterly negate ourselves to let them be the very best sexually dysfunctional, oaky Chardonnay-guzzling wine women they can be?
Democrats are completely baffled by those of us who stand to micturate. The fact that they handed all that dough over to their consultants just to get back the generic report that men don’t think Democrats really care about them is utterly hilarious. Hell, I can give them more details for just one million bucks. Men think that you hate them because you do hate them, and they don’t like people who hate them. So, stop hating men. Easy.
But they don’t want to hear that. They aren’t really looking for an answer. There I go, just like a typical man, actually providing advice that would solve the problem when what they really want me to do is to docilely affirm them.
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