Roei Shalev, whose girlfriend Mapal Adam was murdered in front of him at the Nova festival on October 7, 2023, died by suicide on Friday night.
Hours before his body was found, Shalev wrote a post on social media explaining that he “couldn’t take it anymore,” and asking for forgiveness.
“Please don’t be angry with me, please. No one will ever understand me, and that’s okay because you can’t understand. I just want this suffering to end. I’m alive, but inside everything is dead,” he wrote.
The post — just three days after the two-year anniversary of his girlfriend’s murder — prompted concern among his friends and Mapal’s sister, television presenter Maayan Adam, who organized searches.
Emergency services were later called to the scene on Route 2, near Netanya, where a car was found on fire. Shalev’s body was recovered from the vehicle.
Israel Police said it opened an investigation into the circumstances surrounding the 30-year-old’s death.
The last time Shalev was seen alive was when he purchased a gerry can of gas on Friday evening, the Ynet news site reported.
“Everyone was stressed and worried that he would harm himself. We searched everywhere in the hope of finding him,” an unnamed friend told the news outlet.
Shalev is survived by his father and sister — his mother died by suicide two weeks after October 7. According to the Kan public broadcaster, she, too, set her car alight.
Shalev’s girlfriend, Adam, 25, was murdered by terrorists on October 7 at the Nova music festival near Kibbutz Re’im.
Mapal and Shalev hid under a truck and played dead for hours until terrorists shot Mapal at close range. Roei survived.
Before she was shot, the two sisters were texting, Maayan told Channel 12 in October 2023.
“Don’t tell Mom,” wrote Mapal. “I’m scared, Maayan.”
“There’s a massacre, there’s a massacre,” she wrote. “Bullets are hitting me in the head.”
Shalev called Maayan to tell her he would protect her sister.
He lay on top of Mapal and was shot in the back as he tried to save his girlfriend. The two had just moved in together the previous week.
“Roei lay next to the dead love of his life for about two hours, until the army arrived and rescued him. She was hit by a bullet that penetrated her ribs and went into her heart — I say her heart was so big that it was impossible to miss it,” Maayan told Ynet last year.
The television presenter also discussed her close bond with her sister’s boyfriend.
“He has my back for life. I will always love him, help him and support him. Sometimes I find some comfort in the fact that she died in the arms of the man who loved her, in one moment. He assured me that she didn’t see the terrorists at all, that she looked at him and closed her eyes.”
“He told me she was brave when she died,” said Maayan. “I’m not sure he’s telling me the truth. I’m sure she was so scared. But unlike so many other families, we know what her last words were.”
The Nova Community Association said that Shalev was “a pillar of the community, and his loss is unimaginable for us all.”
“We ask everyone to remember him through his beautiful moments — his brave support for the community, his role as captain of the Nova tribe’s basketball team, and his dedication to helping his friends and fellow tribe members during their most difficult and challenging times.”
The organization urged continued awareness of the mental toll on survivors and bereaved families.
“We have endured a lot of pain over these past two years, and we survived it together, and together we will overcome and endure this unimaginable moment of grief,” the organization said.