When he leaves the army barracks to return to his ultra-orthodox Kiryat Menchem neighbourhood in west Jerusalem, Jacov Barchaim immediately swaps his khaki uniform for a traditional black suit to avoid causing offence.
His work as a reservist in the Israeli army would be too difficult for his conservative father-in-law to understand, said Mr Barchaim, 35, adding that he kept his occupation under wraps out of respect for his wife.
“When I joined the army in 2015, it was a very big secret. For the first three years, almost nobody knew about it,” he told the Telegraph last week at the Yeshiva Chedvata, the religious school where he teaches in Gan Yavne, on the outskirts of Tel Aviv.
The Yeshiva, an outlier in the Haredi community, seeks to train ultra-orthodox – or Haredi – men for secular military culture.
When Mr Barchaim signed up for the army nine years ago, the question of conscription for young Haredi men was a hot-button political issue, as it is now.
He confided his dream to serve and protect the country to his rabbi, who advised him to keep quiet to avoid the risk of his four young sons being excluded from their Talmud Torah elementary school.
“I said to him, ‘I can’t live like this. I am proud of who I am and what I am doing and I want to [openly] wear a uniform’,” he said. “The rabbi replied, ‘you are right but this is a moment to be smart and not to be right’.”