The Republican primary is starting to heat up and the prospective Democratic nominee, President Joe Biden, may soon be forced to go “full FDR” and confine himself to a wheelchair to avoid a potentially life-threatening injury.

Biden, 80, traveled to Colorado Springs this week to deliver the commencement address at the U.S. Air Force Academy. It did not go well. The president’s caretakers were repeatedly forced to take action to prevent him from wandering off and getting lost. He rambled incoherently during his speech, whispered creepily about women, and appeared to challenge the cadets to a push-up contest.

When the ceremony was nearly finished, Biden humiliated himself and his country by toppling over on the commencement stage. His fragile bones barely withstood the impact as three caretakers rushed to his aid. It presumably won’t be the last time Biden is forced to activate his Life Alert before Election Day, which is more than 17 months away.

Fun fact: Falls are the leading cause of injury-related death among Americans aged 65 and older, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

Have a great weekend!

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