: President Joe Biden, 80, finally acknowledged his four-year-old granddaughter.

: The Washington Free Beacon exclusively and semi-legally obtained the formal letter Biden sent to Navy Joan Roberts, more than three and a half years after an Arkansas court determined “with scientific certainty” that Hunter Biden was her father.

July 28, 2023

Dear Navy Joan,

My name is Joe Biden and I’m Jill’s husband. I’m also Hunter’s dad, and your grandfather. I’m sure by now you’ve read the statement I provided exclusively to PEOPLE magazine on Friday afternoon. I meant every word.

I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I was when I heard about the paternity test results in 2019. It has been a great honor and a privilege to respect your privacy these past four years by declining to comment on this personal matter. As I’ve often said, there is nothing more important than family.

Accordingly, I was pleased to learn that you won’t be taking the Biden name, per the terms of the modified legal settlement your parents lovingly negotiated last month. Family is so much more than just a name.

Let’s be honest, though. You’re not really a Biden, are you? Given the unholy circumstances of your conception, it would be literally blasphemous to suggest otherwise. Your daddy doesn’t even remember giving your mommy the business.

What do you mean that’s inappropriate? For crying out loud, Jill. This whole thing is ridiculous. No, I don’t want to start over. Are you writing this all down? Because she’s not a Biden, dammit. Some floozy’s bastard kid? Come on. What? I mean, sure, I’d like to smell her hair at least once. What’s that got to do with anything?

No, I don’t buy it. It’s not even Hunter’s kid. Who says? Oh, right, the scientific test. Like those doctors know anything. The tests they give me say I have Alzheimer’s and we all know that’s bullshit. Now I’m in a bad mood. Send in some of the interns so I can yell at them.

No, that’s all I’m gonna say. I’m done. Write it up and send the letter, dadgummit. Son of a bitch.

Sincerely,

Joseph R. Biden

President of the United States

(Dictated but not read)

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