After visiting all 99 counties in Iowa and failing to win a single one, specifically because he visited all 99 counties in Iowa, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis declared the dark, unknown and mysterious forces of universe tried to stop him, “threw everything at him,” yet he alone stands victorious.

Yeah, he actually said that.

The DeSantis campaign put most of their resources into Iowa and gained a total of 23,000 votes (roughly 21%), quickly declaring victory in a tenuous 2nd place finish and proclaiming their victory ticket has been punched.  The cognitive disconnect is exceptionally strong; but hey, everyone has a role to play – right?  WATCH:

IOWA – DeSantis took the stage for a few minutes at a campaign party in West Des Moines after he secured second place.

“Because of your support, in spite of all of that they threw at us, everyone against us — we’ve got our ticket punched out of Iowa,” he said.

DeSantis spent millions in the Hawkeye State, visited all 99 counties and cultivated the endorsements of popular Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds. Never Back Down, the super PAC supporting his candidacy, also spent more than nine months building a ground game and appointing 1,600 precinct captains across the state. (MORE)