Here’s something you don’t hear about often, if at all. A question was posed to wait staff on Reddit about patrons “helping” wait staff that extracted a huge and surprising response.

In fact, servers have very specific grievances over a well-intentioned but often counterproductive act by diners: the stacking of plates once a meal is complete.

The discussion was initiated by a user on the server-centric subreddit r/ServerLife who asked, “From someone who has never worked in a restaurant, does it help to stack our plates after eating? Does it make it worse?”

Many restaurant-goers believe that consolidating used dishes assists the waitstaff in clearing tables. Apparently they are wrong!

The post was accompanied by a photograph depicting a chaotic heap of soiled plates, bowls, cutlery, and crumpled paper napkins strewn across a table at an undisclosed restaurant.

The assemblage, seemingly an act of good faith, elicited thousands of comments from current and former servers, expressing a broad spectrum of views on the issue.

The consensus, however, leans towards the assertion that although such efforts might appear courteous, they generally obstruct rather than facilitate the server’s workflow.

From someone who has never worked in a restaurant, does it help to stack our plates after eating? Does it make it worse?
byu/pMj_7887 inServerlife

As one server stated, “If they’re actually stacked right then it’s a big help, but most of the time bless the customers’ hearts for trying. Stacked right as in large dishes plates at the bottom, going up to small bowls/plates on top with silverware in a way that it won’t go sliding off the stack.”

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Another added, “No offense but if you stack like this it’s kind of worse,” referencing the photo shared in the original post.

A third participant pointed out the common error of mixing trash with dishes: “It’s helpful if all the trash is separated from everything. Most people tend to stick the trash between bowls, dishes, cups, etc.”

The sentiment was not only about efficiency but also about the physical strain improperly stacked dishes could impose on servers. “When I pick up the plates stop trying to add more on top,” one person asserted.

Another was more vehement, stating, “It’s not even a matter of a system… the plates are heavy to begin with, and now you’re throwing every plate and utensil at me all at once, making me wait while you do, and watching my arms begin to shake from the weight of it all, as you NOW ask what I recommend for dessert. Are you f***ing kidding me?!?”

A separate comment thread distilled the prevailing opinion into a straightforward guideline: “If you know what you are doing, great. If you stack like this picture, no, please don’t.”

To reinforce this point, one server recalled an incident where an adult was teaching a child to stack dishes for the waiter, a gesture that the server promptly corrected by explaining the proper system.

Additionally, another pointed out that patrons should consider their timing when engaging in a discussion with the wait staff, stating “‘Ah, I see your hands are full. Arms are shaking, and you’re sweating. Perfect time to engage in a meaningful conversation.’ – every table, ever.”

What is unmasked through this digital dialogue is not just quirks of restaurant culture but a lesson in unintended consequences. While people believe they are helping they may, in fact, be placing unintended burdens on the very people diners seek to assist.

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