As of Friday this week the United States is 249 years young. Do it the honor of marking our country’s birthday as “Independence Day,” rather than the far more common and clunky “Fourth of July.”

I’m not sure when I started caring to explicitly and exclusively refer to the holiday by it’s official name, but it’s something I’ve grown militant about. Not in a sanctimonious way, like a person who wants to flex his superior patriotism or knowledge on proper titles. But there are two reasons for it.

First, I’m a writer (a real one, not the fake Charles Blow kind). I pay attention to the way phrases sound and flow, always self-editing to make expressions concise and breezy. That’s both in print and speech. “Independence Day” includes one long word, but it sounds nice and is easy to say. “Fourth of July” by contrast is three short ones that when said aloud together are the audible equivalent of watching John Fetterman lurching forward in strap-on heels. It’s a plodding phrase with each syllable landing on the eardrum with a dull thud. I hate it. Further, Independence Day connotes a date of significance, with its own distinguished name. “Fourth of July” is simply the number of a day belonging to a summer month. It’s a phrase that also exhibits a lot of lip action, first biting the lower one to say “fourth” and then pursing them both for “July.” Ugly! The month itself isn’t even a pleasant one to say and I’m shocked it hasn’t yet been deemed as anti-Semitic by Jonah Goldberg.

Second, the true meaning of the word “independence” bothers Democrats, so I like using it. It bothers them because they hate the concept of a person doing as he pleases without seeking permission or relying on authority. That’s why Democrats obsess over rules and regulations, reveling in their power to pass out permits for building, traveling, and anything else they can get their sticky hands on. It’s why they hate the American middle class — because the middle class might not have the influence and access to the powerful, but it doesn’t need to. Democrats prefer an underclass, dependent on authority providing rations and granting permissions. By the way, independence shouldn’t be confused with “freedom.” Freedom suggests a person might very well choose captivity, relying on others for their care. Independence is a rejection of dominance, servitude, and subjugation. It’s a repulsive idea to Democrats, so saying “Independence Day” to one of them is highly satisfying, kind of like offering a bite of your burger to an angry vegan.

Happy Independence Day!