DEUTSCHE BAHN has only four enemies, runs the gag: spring, summer, autumn and winter. German trains did once run on time. But these days moaning about the risible performance of the state-owned rail giant is a national sport. Last year barely 60% of long-distance trains arrived on time, leaving Germany near the bottom of the European pack. Visitors expecting fabled German efficiency are often shocked. The national auditors have said Deutsche Bahn is in a “deepening, permanent crisis”. For the growing ranks of Germans who grumble that nothing works any more, trains may be the biggest complaint of all.