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Yes, it's me! Mark Steyn of that ilk - back in the saddle for another hour of questions from Steyn Clubbers around the planet, as the world's most uniquely unique "peaceful transition of power" chunters on. In California's 14th District - home of the Chinese-penetrated Eric Shagdwell - they have now managed, eight days after the election, to count an impressive fifty-five per cent of the vote!
We'll bring you any breaking-news updates if that inches up to fifty-six per cent in the course of our show. SteynOnline's Clubland Q&A starts live at 3pm North American Eastern - which is 8pm Greenwich Mean Time/9pm Central European. If you chance to be elsewhere, do check local listings below.
Elsewhere there is much going on, including the resignation of the execrable post-Christian Archbishop of Canterbury over a scandal he attempted to cover up. Meanwhile, the so-called "free world" shrinks remorselessly. On Sunday, as my old Telegraph/Independent colleague Allison Pearson was getting ready for Remembrance observances, there came a knock on the door:
All my things were laid out ready for Remembrance Sunday. Black dress, black opaque tights, coat, a new poppy to go with the vintage enamel one that glints in my jewellery box awaiting its annual outing. I was still not dressed when Himself called up to say that there were police at the door for me...
To be fair, unlike in New York State, they had not come round to off her squirrel. Instead:
PC S, the one on the left, who did all the talking, told me that they were here to inform me that I had been accused of a non-crime hate incident (NCHI). It was to do with something I had posted on X (formerly Twitter) a year ago. A YEAR ago? Yes. Stirring up racial hatred, apparently.
WHAT? I stood there in my slippered feet trying to take in what the police officer had said; our market town was filled with the sounds of preparation for the forthcoming parade – a distant drummer, the metallic clang of barriers going up. Life going on as normal, but this wasn't normal; it was far from normal.
"What did this post I wrote that offended someone say?" I asked. The constable said he wasn't allowed to tell me that.
"So what's the name of the person who made the complaint against me?"
He wasn't allowed to tell me that either, he said.
"You can't give me my accuser's name?"
"It's not 'the accuser'," the PC said, looking down at his notes. "They're called 'the victim'."
Unlike, say, a girl who's been gang-raped by "Asian" men week-in-week-out since the age of nine.
The British Constabulary is institutionally evil. They cannot be reformed, and their crime-solving rate is so low - well down below two per cent, according to my old friend from the Yard, Parm Sandhu - that immediate abolition would make little difference except for the elimination of tosspot plods who investigate you for year-old "Non-Crime Hate Incidents".
This is the world Sir Keir's Starmtroopers are building very fast with the connivance of at least half the so-called "Conservative" Party. All that stands between the wanker coppers and the death of free speech is a handful of individuals such as Elon Musk. No wonder the EU, whose eunuch satrap Sir Keir is, is determined to shut him down. I do hope not just Musk but Trump himself will emphasise that there can be no "special relationship" with an increasingly totalitarian dump at war with core western liberties.
On today's Clubland Q&A I'm happy to entertain your thoughts on the above or anything else that's on your mind. Whether or not you're a member of The Mark Steyn Club, you can listen to our show live as it happens wherever you chance to be on this turbulent earth: Club membership is required only to ask a question. We love to hear from brand new members, and especially appreciate those who are having such a great time round these parts that they've signed up a chum for a Steyn Club Gift Membership. Among the additions to our ranks in recent days are newbies from around the globe - from Toronto to Tunbridge Wells, La Grange to Llangynidr, Ashkelon to Invercargill. Whether you've joined this week either for a full year or a see-how-it-goes experimental quarter, do shoot me a head-scratcher for today's show.
But, if you're not interested in joining, no worries, as they say in Oz: We seek no unwilling members - and as always the show is free to listen to, so we hope you'll want to tune in. So see you back here at 3pm North American Eastern - which is 8pm in London, 9pm in Budapest, where the Prime Minister has already congratulated Mr Trump; 10pm in Jerusalem, where the Prime Minister has done likewise; 11pm in Moscow; half-past-eleven in Teheran; one-forty-five in Kathmandu; 4am in Singapore and Honkers (sorry about that); 7am in Sydney and Melbourne; 9am in Auckland, and an even more convivial hour for the kippers and kedgeree in His Majesty's Dominions eastward across the Pacific, where you're so far ahead I've probably already lost my appeal by now...