


Speaking as the guy who literally wrote the book on the animal rights movement (now sadly outdated - I really need to update and re-release it), let me share one thing from experience:
Those people are nuts.
Of course, there are all kinds of arguments to be made about the very concept of rights, why people have them and animals don't. Animals can (and should) have legal protections, but not rights. Why? Because we're not savages, and most people don't like seeing any animal treated cruelly, which doesn't preclude eating them. But, back to the animal rights nuts.
Now it seems there's a subset to the animal rights kooks; now, there are chicken rights kooks. And they're committed enough so that one of them glued himself to the chicken cooler in (of course) a Trader Joe's.
The nutcase glued to the cooler piously announced:
I'm super-glued here at Trader Joe's. I'm asking Trader Joe's to stop selling Perdue's Petalina Poultry, to stop profiting off of suffering.
He really put a little pepper on the word "suffering," too, just to show everyone he really means it.
Another nut used a megaphone to shout:
Chickens deserve medical attention. Just like us!
An unintelligible shout followed, after which the protestors broke into a chant, "Human freedom, animal rights!"
This was, according to the video, at the "original Trader Joe's," which would place it in Pasadena, California. Because, of course, it's California.
Now, nothing says "rational discourse" like an idiot gluing himself to a display case. I can hear the shopper's thought processes now: "Oh, gosh, that guy glued himself to the display case. That skinny girl is shouting at me with a megaphone. These sure seem to be people I should take seriously."
Just kidding. Nobody will be convinced by these acts of lunacy.
X, as usual, yielded some humorous replies:
No, don't call Perdue, and don't call for the janitor with a bottle of super glue solvent. This nut glued himself to the case. Let him sit there as his bladder slowly fills up, distends, and finally releases. In his pants. Messy, but hilarious.
Another poster had the same idea, and it's worked before:
Then there's this old classic:
Look, nobody in the sane world cares what people eat. But we expect the same in return; if you're a vegan, if you're an animal rights kook, fine, but keep it to yourselves. This kind of performance theater won't convince anyone anyway, and the nuttier you act, the more damage your own cause.
And really, over a chicken? The domestic chicken has a brain about the size of a BB shot. They are carefully bred over hundreds of years to be biological machines, with the primary purpose of providing humans with hot, delicious fried chicken, chicken wings, chicken fajitas, and so on.
See Also: PETA’s Latest Groundhog Day Demand Leaves People Asking If They're for Real
Belaboring the Obvious: CO Supreme Court Rules Elephants Aren't Human, Cannot Sue
My solution to the guy glued to the display case? Leave him there, and make sure that the only food within his reach is buckets of warm, delicious fried chicken.
And, of course, now I'm all hungry.
Help RedState continue to tell the truth about the Trump administration's accomplishments as we continue to usher in the Golden Era of America. Join RedState’s VIP and use promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your membership today.