Just for the record, tracked earthmoving equipment isn't very fast. Oh, some military hardware with tracks can move pretty darn fast; the M1A1 tank that was in active service when I was in Uncle Sam's colors was known for what the Army called its "very high automotive capability," meaning it was frighteningly fast for a 60-ton monster.
Earthmoving equipment, though, doesn't have to be fast, just very stable and solid on its tracks. So when a burglar busted into a South Carolina business and tried to make his getaway in a tracked excavator, it made for a chase that had to leave the cops yawning.
Police in South Carolina engaged in a not-so-hot pursuit as they chased a tractor excavator down a main highway for more than an hour at the speed an average adult walks.
The chase reached speeds of 3 mph (4.8 kph) early Sunday morning in North Charleston, police said.
Officers on a different call saw the big piece of construction equipment with treads and a shovel in front go across U.S. Highway 78 around 3:30 a.m., North Charleston Police wrote in their report.
A few minutes later, they got a burglary call from a business that was heavily damaged and saw the excavator slowly heading away, police said.
They "...saw the excavator slowly heading away"? That's the only way excavators like this can head anywhere.
When I was a little tad, my Dad kept a D4 Caterpillar around the farm for various, Caterpillar-ly tasks. I can remember my brother driving it while Dad and I walked alongside. That was about that D-4 Caterpillar's top speed, or close to it.
They had their blue lights and sirens on and told the excavator driver over their loudspeakers that he was under arrest and needed to stop. Other cruisers blocked traffic.
The chase went on for an hour and 12 minutes before the excavator drove on to the Charleston County Fairgrounds property, where it got stuck. The driver tried to run, but was followed by a drone until a police dog and handler caught up, authorities said.
The 53-year-old driver of the excavator was charged with failure to stop for a blue light and two counts of malicious injury to real property and remained in the Charleston County jail on a $22,000 bond, according to jail records.
I'm not sure what this guy was thinking. A big tracked excavator like this isn't something you can unload at a shady pawn shop (is there any other kind of pawn shop?) There aren't any shady guys standing just inside dark alleys, stage-whispering, "Hey, buddy, you got any spare excavators you wanna sell? No questions asked?"
This kind of equipment isn't something you can fence.
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It's also not something that's well-suited for running from the cops. When you're running from the police, a transport that can be outmatched by a nine-year-old on a Big Wheel probably isn't the best choice.
As we see above, the perp was run walked down, and is now cooling his heels in the slammer. It would be roundly entertaining to hear the jailhouse chatter in that holding cell right now:
"Hey buddy. What are you in for?"
"Tried to outrun the cops on an excavator."
"Wow. Not too sharp, are ya?"
The world would be a much duller place without dumb crooks to point and laugh at.
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