In recognizing the dregs of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created "The Golden Remington Awards," a nod to the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today or report in an audacious fashion.

These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, to be honored at the end of the year for the 2024 Remmy Awards. 

Distinguished Feature Writing

In an overly long profile piece, Cramer digs into the life of Joe Morelli, a man who spent time in prison after directly threatening Marjorie Taylor Greene with violence. It is an exhaustive study on the man and his battles with manic impulses and other emotional challenges. One thing that is notably absent, however, is something we always find in the press with cases of political violence.

We do not see much in the way of stern lectures about how heated rhetoric had inspired the man, or that his compulsive watching of “left-leaning talk shows” drove Morelli to lash out in his unacceptable rage. Somehow, those usual triggers alluded to regarding right-leaning sources or conservative media are not to be found in this case of someone threatening a member of the Republican Party.

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

In a case of lax school authorities — in a Utah high school this time, not a college campus —students were permitted to come to classes as Furries. A number of other students staged a walkout because they were being harassed and even assaulted by some of the participants, and the school officials did little to address the problem.

Mr. Gold is here to provide a “fact-check,” declaring the story was false and that there had been no students dressed as Furries. He based this not on investigating and finding it untrue but upon reading an article in which a solitary school official — clearly in CYA mode — denied things happened. Small problem for Gold: there was video and other evidence showing this did, in fact, take place.

Distinguished National Reporting

Pierce has a sharp, analytical mind and when a major news item breaks he can assess the situation and the influences behind what transpired, and so long as the issue at hand is of a negative nature he can distill things to the obvious conclusion – it is Donald Trump’s fault.

When an emotionally disturbed individual consumed with conspiracies took his life by self-immolation in Manhattan, the blame was obvious to Pierce, despite someone else running the country for over three years now. 

This, despite the guy seen with a placard declaring that Trump and Biden were the same and the real issue was our out-of-control government apparatus.

Distinguished Editorial Writing

It turns out there is something else we can blame on Donald Trump: Washington is no longer fun, and joke-telling was ruined by the former president. In the run-up to the annual media circle jerk that is the White House Correspondents Dinner, D.C. fixture and former Biden Speechwriter Nussbaum is here to say that all the frivolity is gone in This Town, and it is all Trump’s fault.

Distinguished Investigative Journalism

Glenn was at his best deflective self regarding a story out of Michigan, where it was reported that illegal immigrants were being paid in order to have an assist with obtaining housing. Glenn raced to the fore to inform all of us that anyone claiming this was a result of Joe Biden’s policies is misinformed.

See, these illegals were paid that money from the state. However, Glenn explains things further, and undermines his efforts in the process.

So immigrants that arrived due to Biden receive housing assistance when money provided by Biden is granted to the state, and the state then pays out the funds. So, blaming Biden is completely out of line.

Distinguished Political Cartoons

Izzy is the courtroom sketch artist for NY Mag, and since no cameras are permitted in Donald Trump’s New York trial, these artists are becoming notable these days. Frankly, we have not been impressed.

Honestly, if a student turned in artwork of this caliber, there would be parent/counselor conferences being called.

Distinguished Local Reporting

Should we chalk this up to yet another economic sector being affected by Biden’s inflation?

Or, maybe we would say, "Get a proofreader in your Chyron department."

Distinguished Sports Reporting

On the popular podcast with the Kelce brothers, Jason and Travis, a running joke is Jason being careless with his Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl ring. For one episode, the brothers staged an event at their alma mater, the University of Cincinnati, with students competing in humorous games. In honor of Jason’s tendency to misplace his ring, one of the games they staged was a scavenger hunt inside two large inflatable pools filled with Skyline chili, and competitors had to find Jason’s ring hidden somewhere in the pools.

The contestants were not successful, and in breaking down the area, nobody else could find the ring, and it is feared to have been tossed out.

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

So you are suggesting that people who usually oppose abortion are just fine with more babies being born?

In this report — from an event held last December — Del Valle found out about a conference where the organizers gathered people in favor of having more children and growing larger families for the sake of the nation. This is seemingly a problem, but why is not entirely clear. What is clear is the reporter jumping to a few conclusions absent any real proof. For one, it is said this select group of people serves as evidence that the far right is obsessed with the topic. There were about 100 people in attendance.

Then, inevitably, came the accusation that racism was at play in this conference. Except, there was no real mention of this. For Del Valle, it was just that the subject matter was kind of icky, and this meant there had to be a racial component.

The terms “provided an opportunity for…” and “perhaps be influenced by…” are doing a LOT of heavy lifting here.