It is time for a new round of nominations for nefarious news nonsense! In recognizing the efforts of the unprofessional press, journalistic sloth, and deserved media mockery, we nominate the efforts for end-of-the-year honors. To commemorate the past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we have created The Golden Remington Awards. Our trophy honors the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices.
Regularly, we compile some of the most fractured examples of journalism, nominating them for the un-coveted dishonor of “winning” our un-distinguished Remmy Award. At the end of the year, we recognize the greats by gathering examples in a number of categories and judiciously choosing the deserving performances.
Here are the latest nominees for The Remmys.
Distinguished Explanatory Reporting
Allegedly, the WaPo Mexico correspondent was investigating a development at the border, but she was not all that curious. Sheridan notices that there has been a sharp drop in fentanyl seizures coming into the country from Mexico, but she declares this to be “mysterious,” as well as declaring the “reasons are complex,” it’s a “puzzling reality,” “a phenomenon,” and “something of a mystery.”
The fact that border crossings have dropped since January by well over 90 percent was not considered a major factor.
Distinguished National Reporting
After the Boulder, Colorado firebomb attack on Jewish rally-goers, there were plenty of victims, including children, and an 80-year-old Holocaust survivor. With plenty of story possibilities involving victims, the national newspaper thought it was wise to develop sympathy on the other side of the attack equation.
So they decided it was a wise move to explain how the daughter of the attacker has had her college career derailed as she has been found to be an illegal immigrant and is set for deportation.
Distinguished Breaking News
The ongoing drama surrounding the White House decision to cut out the Associated Press from the press pool has plenty of journalists off balance. Peter Baker was reporting on the recent court decision that upheld the move to have the AP removed and he displayed the tendency of the derangement-afflicted press to operate as if history began with Trump’s inaugural.
Peter tried to intone words of caution, warning that this could lead to a Democrat president targeting a news outlet over its coverage. But this is the problem with the media returning from its four-year vacation; they gloss over Joe Biden having locked out the New York Post over its Hunter Biden coverage.
The Kamala Harris Loquacious Emerald Bowl - (sponsored by Salad shooter)
The esteemed journalist described her ordeal when making a trip into the U.S. recently.
"I’m fairly prominent – and I literally prepared to go to America as if I was going to North Korea. I took a burner phone…imagine that!”
This was the supreme risk she took...in order to give a speech at Harvard University.
Distinguished International Reporting
The green energy crowd is a mystifying one at times, with the imbalanced logic and fractured science on full display with the European Union crowd. These are the people insisting that we graduate our diets to those consisting primarily of bug protein, after all.
In one region the countries have gone full throttle on wind turbine energy production in the North Sea, with hundreds of these aeronautic eyesores littering the coastal waters. The Netherlands has a legitimate gripe with Belgium, according to one Dutch meteorologist, because their wind farms are popping up in areas ahead of Holland’s windmills. This is leading to him lodging a complaint: Belgium is guilty of stealing wind from the Netherlands.
“According to Remco Verzijlbergh, CEO of Dutch weather forecasting service Whiffle, a wind turbine is designed to extract wind from the air. If you measure behind a wind turbine, the wind blows less hard. Behind a wind farm with many wind turbines together, you really see lower wind speeds.” Wind farms in Belgium are reportedly taking up to 3 % of wind energy from Dutch installations.
Now this leads to a question from my unscientific mind: If you are going to accuse one nation of stealing your wind, do you not have to prove prior possession? Does Holland produce receipts or something similar to establish ownership of the pilfered wind?
Distinguished Local Reporting
We have learned there is an existential threat looming that is bigger than climate change – Elon Musk! Morales came on the air to moralize about the inherent dangers we now face as a result of Musk and his DOGE budget moves the past few months. Morales says that he was able to accurately predict when a hurricane would turn six years ago, but today we assume all will die. Apparently Musk was busy repossessing computers and erasing all of the modeling software that was being used.
The Silver Rice Cake Platter (Sponsored by Quaker)
As the feud between Elon Musk and President Trump was developing, the intrepid ABC News reporter felt that it was somehow newsworthy to come out with an exclusive – Vice President JD Vance was declared to be on “Team Trump”.
This carried with it not a scintilla of surprise or significance.
Distinguished National Reporting
The desperation in the press was on full display when Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) recently concluded a speech by placing his hand over his heart and then raising his hand to the audience at roughly a 45-degree angle. It was the exact same gesture that Elon Musk executed during the Donald Trump inaugural ceremonies, when he was piled on in the press for delivering “a Nazi salute”.
The pains taken by Aitken to explain how Booker’s identical genuflection was completely different were as comical as one can achieve.
Editor's Note: The mainstream media continues to deflect, gaslight, spin, and lie.
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