Throughout the year, we have (dis)honored the press with our regular feature commemorating the efforts of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery through nominations for The Golden Remington Awards.
Our Trophy is a nod to the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. To commemorate that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those journalists or outlets who fall short of that once respectable goal.
In this third edition we continue with our major categories, which organize the dysfunction and distemper on display throughout 2024, not unlike an award granted to supposed journalism greatness. We’ll give the nominees and announce the winner for each category; here are the distinguished “winners” in 2024.
Distinguished Editorial Writing
WINNER – BELLE BOGGS / NEW YORK TIMES
As a means of showing the benefit of continuing the Biden administration and its support of the general public, Mrs. Boggs detailed a traumatic event in her home, and how general services helped her and her family. She had contacted the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, along with the local authorities--animal control and local health officials--then made a trip to the hospital and endured treatment. Supposedly, Donald Trump poses a threat to all of these services that Belle used – after a bat flew into their home and then flew out again. No one was bitten, no one came in contact with the animal, and no threat to the family took place. But Trump is the real threat, we learn.
Despite everything going on in our country and our state — Mr. Trump and the looming threat of autocracy— I am reminded of how much good we now enjoy, which hangs in the balance of this election.
Distinguished Feature Writing
WINNER - THE NEW REPUBLIC
Using the tasteful image of Trump-Hitler on the cover, the magazine drew in eight writers to opine on what they imagined a totalitarian America will look like under a Trump term. Their fever-dream analysis was heavy on the dystopian hysterics and light on reflecting that the man has previously served without any of their promised ill-effects.
DISTINGUISHED SPORTS REPORTING
WINNER – MARLENE LENTHANG/NBC NEWS
When Caitlyn Clark was selected with the top pick in the WNBA draft, her initial contract total was compared to NBA rookie contracts. Ms. Lenthang fell on the tired outrage that women should be given a fair wage. What fretters like herself had to ignore is that while the NBA generates massive revenues - such as a new TV contract netting $75 billion - Clark plays in a sports league that has never turned a profit. If she had a genuinely fair wage, she would be paying the league in order to play.
Distinguished Explanatory Reporting
WINNER – RUTH BEN-GHIAT / MSNBC
The resident historian came on to explain why Pete Hegseth was unacceptable as Trump’s choice to head the Department of Defense. Among the reason she cited was that, at one time, he promoted a product: grenade soap on a rope.
Distinguished Investigative Reporting
WINNER – LOUIS KRAUS / MINNESOTA STAR-TRIBUNE
Through intrepid investigation, Kraus was able to track down Bryn Tanner. Following the leads of former staffers or (more likely) just noticing a TikTok video Tanner uploaded, the reporter was able to track down the current owner of a Sega Dreamcast video game system that had previously been owned and played by Tim Walz.
Distinguished Breaking News
WINNER – KELLY O’DONNELL / NBC NEWS
At the Democratic National Convention the media-averse Kamala Harris arrived and gave her speech, and then she tried to give the press the slip once more, avoiding any interviews. But Kelly O’Donnell staked out a spot in the steam tunnels and then got the exclusive moment to ask the candidate a question.
“How do you feel”
That was it. That was the media's probing question, after weeks of the vice president dodging the press.
Distinguished International Reporting
WINNER – DAVID INGRAM / NBC NEWS
Dave was really upset that people on the right were talking about there being cannibalism on the island of Haiti. Conservatives, Elon Musk, and right-wing influencers were all called out for pushing these unverified claims, in racist fashion! Except, the claims were in fact verified…in Ingram’s own article. He mentions videos of gang members on video eating human flesh, with one even being dubbed The Cannibal Army.
Distinguished Local Reporting
WINNER – ESME MURPHY/WCCO TV Minneapolis
In a supposed fact-check on Trump that was picked up nationally by the CBS network, Murphy tried to claim Trump falsely accused Kamala Harris of helping push the bail fund for those arrested for the riots in the city back in 2020. Beyond Harris STILL having posts on her social media promoting the bail fund, Murphy herself not had only covered the story at the time but interviewed Harris and discussed the topic.
Distinguished National Reporting
WINNER – RACHEL MADDOW / MSNBC
In explaining why J.D. Vance is not a valid candidate, MSNBC's resident blue-anon expert showed that the VP candidate is a white supremacist. Surprised? Well, she logically explained that many white supremacists like “The Lord of the Rings,” and Vance named his business Naria, after elements from the books. Further, the word “Naria” can have the first letter transposed to the end, and then you have (what sounds like) “Aryan.” There you have it - Vance is a white supremacist racist!
Distinguished Public Service
WINNER – NICO GRANT / NEW YORK TIMES
In a blatant example of the press seeking to silence free expression, Grant partnered with Media Matters for America to approach YouTube with “evidence” of accounts that were posting misinformation. Targeting strictly right-of-center accounts, they presented nearly 300 examples of what they declared false information.
To its credit the video platform declared that none of the items shown violated its terms of service.