THE AMERICA ONE NEWS
Jun 16, 2025  |  
0
 | Remer,MN
Sponsor:  QWIKET 
Sponsor:  QWIKET 
Sponsor:  QWIKET: Elevate your fantasy game! Interactive Sports Knowledge.
Sponsor:  QWIKET: Elevate your fantasy game! Interactive Sports Knowledge and Reasoning Support for Fantasy Sports and Betting Enthusiasts.
back  
topic
Ward Clark


NextImg:Strange: Kentucky Man in Trouble for Weaponizing a Raccoon

People generally love cute critters. Raccoons, now they're as cute as they come, but they are also intelligent, dexterous, adaptable, and devious. When I was a little kid back in northeast Iowa, my folks kept their bird seed in a big steel trash can inside the machine shed, and Dad actually had to padlock the can's lid shut to keep the raccoons out - and he used a key lock, I suspect in part because he wasn't completely certain that the local raccoons (see image above) wouldn't figure out how to open a combination lock. My Mom always maintained that when humans are gone, raccoons would be the next intelligent creature to take over the planet.

With that said, it isn't a huge surprise that a Kentucky crook has formed a partnership-in-crime with a raccoon.

The post reads:

On 6/6/2025 around 9:18 PM, the Murray Police Department received a call that an individual had intentionally released a raccoon into an open business, and that this person had left the scene.  Officers soon located this individual while he was operating his vehicle, and they conducted a traffic stop on him.  The individual, later identified as Jonathan Mason (40) of Murray, KY, refused to roll down his windows or exit the vehicle.  As a result, officers had to remove Mr. Mason from his vehicle.  Upon further investigation, it was learned that the raccoon that Mr. Mason released into the business bit a person, and that Mr. Mason had already been warned that he was not allowed on the property of that business.  Mr. Mason was arrested and charged with Assault 2nd Degree, Criminal Trespassing 3rd Degree, Resisting Arrest, and Failure of Owner to Maintain Required Insurance 1st Offense; he was lodged in the Calloway County Jail.  

Well, that certainly warrants a paws to reflect.

It's not clear what charges the raccoon faces, aside of course from the usual masked banditry. But you have to admit, partnering with a human is taking raccoon society to a new level. Maybe Mr. Mason expected his masked partner to carry out a robbery or just perform some raccoonaissance in the business, but as of this writing, that intent is not clear. 

See Also: And Now for Something Completely Different: Roasted Guinea Pigs

New Details Emerge About the Killing of Peanut the Squirrel, and They're Even Worse Than You Thought

Joking aside, there's a serious note to all this. Raccoons, while being intelligent and adaptable, are tough little critters with a nasty bite, and they are rabies vectors. Looking back once more to my youth, I remember my father shot any raccoon that appeared in broad daylight and seemed to be acting strangely, and he had given my brother and me orders to do likewise. Dad enjoyed having the critters around, even with the battle of wits over securing bird seed; I think he thought of that as an interesting challenge, and after all, it was one he won in the end. But rabies is a serious matter, and once a raccoon, skunk, or other mammal has the disease, the only cure is a bullet. 

So, siccing a raccoon on people, that's a different story. And this raccoon reportedly did bite one person, and we feel certain that person is now getting a rabies shot series.

This seems appropriate.

S

Editor’s Note: Don't miss our massive Patriot Sale as we celebrate Flag Day and our great U.S. Army’s 250th and President Trump's birthdays! Get 74% off a VIP membership with promo code POTUS47.

America is an exceptional country. Join us as we continue to fight to Make America Great Again.