Over the past year, we have cataloged the foibles, foul-ups, and facts-averse finagling seen in the press, and with the flip of the calendar, it is only proper that we recognize and reward the best (worst) examples in journalism from 2023. For this inauspicious honor, we have created The Golden Remington Trophy, a nod to days past, when reporters would grind out work, burn shoe leather chasing stories, and journalism ethics still existed.
The Remmy – our statue of the classic typewriter, encased in luxurious repurposed 8-karat gold — is awarded in several categories. Below, they are arranged with the nominees and announced WINNER (the recipient entitled to the physical manifestation upon payment of creation and shipping costs).
So, without any further fanfare, we bring you The Remmys of 2023!
The Joe Biden Honor - (Distinguished reporting on frozen desserts, sponsored by Jeni’s Ice Cream)
WINNER: CNN
During a campaign stop in July, Donald Trump was in a Dairy Queen and wanted to buy everyone a Blizzard, but was flummoxed as to what a Blizzard actually is. This led to a battle between the camps.
The Rice Cake Serving Award - (Distinguished reporting on non-news items, sponsored by Quaker Oats Rice Cakes)
WINNER: Renee’ Onque - CNBC
Surely this had to be something tied in to commodities, right? Why else would CNBC be detailing for us that Cher decided to forego eating cheese?
The Sam Adams Honor - (Distinguished fabricated reporting, sponsored by Sam Adams Lager)
The famed patriot was also a newspaper publisher at one time, and he infamously was willing to print wild lies about his political opponents.
WINNER: Simrin Singh - CBS News
In an attempt to underscore how intolerant Ron DeSantis' laws are towards the LGBT???? community, they featured former NBA star Dwayne Wade needing to move from Florida because their child is non-binary and not accepted. The problem is Wade had moved to California for his wife’s career in entertainment - in 2019.
The Jenn Rubin Honor - (Distinguished reporting that contradicts prior reporting, sponsored by BleachBit)
Jennifer is so renowned for making proclamations that contradict her own prior positions that we had to retire her from competition and name an award in her name.
WINNER: The Associated Press
After rewriting the definition of “insurrection” previously in order to qualify the January 6 riot, the AP went back and revised that definition in order to avoid including instances of Democrats committing the same acts inside state capitols.
The Norm Crosby Honor - (Distinguished quotations in news)
WINNER: Amanda Bennett, CEO of the U.S. Agency for Global Media/VOA
In response to Elon Musk placing the “state-supported media” label on Voice of America, its CEO came out with this defense: “We completely reject the implications of the label ‘government-funded.' Of course we’re government-funded, but it’s potentially misleading.”
The New York Post Prize - (Distinguished accomplishments in headline writing)
WINNER: Daily Star - For a headline you know the interns dared each other to submit, and the editors completely missed
“Great Tits Have Saved Conkers by Gobbling Mini Worms”
Distinguished Photojournalism (sponsored by Polaroid)
WINNER: JOSÉ BETANZOS - Vice World News
In covering the aftermath of the gunfight that took place at the compound of the son of infamous cartel operator El Chapo, Vice provided pictures of the dramatic scene. We are not sure of the need to pump up the drama, but this was less dramatic, considering what the camera shows embedded in a hole is clearly an unfired bullet.