Oh boy, this intersects with many things from my past and present.
A few years ago, I defended a pair of brothers who got into a fight on a golf course. It never would have been a “case" except for the county it was tried in. I got one brother off without a conviction but the other was convicted. Frankly, it was a minor altercation that should never have happened and it should not have been tried but a woman was inadvertently touched. Had it been just the “dudes” duking it out, no one would have pressed charges.
And the last personal setup I will add is that the last fight I was in was a long time ago. I was with a little friend of mine. Little friend had a big mouth. He mouthed off to a guy in a car and that guy stopped and got out. I knew that my friend would cower, so I got out. Oops. I looked up at the other guy. He outweighed me by about 50 lbs and was about five inches taller. Fortunately, he was drunk. Really drunk. I got the best of him, but then his girlfriend got the best of me. She hit me in the jaw with my mouth open. I never again got into a fight because I reasoned that had that guy been sober, he likely would have ruined me.
Ok, back to the golf course. Unlike the admonition in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" where there are "no rules" in a knife fight, there are rules on a golf course. One basic rule is “pace of play.” Most courses are now equipped with a GPS and screens that tell you if you have fallen behind. Keep up with the group in front of you. Keeping “pace of play” is a cardinal rule. Even if your foursome has had too much to drink, you likely won’t be hassled by the group behind you - if you keep pace of play.
But if you drink a lot and then putts-around, like you are the only people on the planet, don’t be surprised if someone asks you to pick up the pace, and get moving. If you then decide to be a massive jerk, hammer back another beer and tell the group behind you to screw off, and challenge the biggest guy in the group to a fight, you best be prepared for the “argument” and potential butt-whooping.
A few days ago (allegedly), retired National Hockey League enforcer Nick Tarnasky was in a golf group behind a group of very bad golfers who were also very, very drunk. After a wait of “23 minutes,” Tarnasky’s group had had enough and demanded that the drunks get moving. That motivated one clown to challenge Tarnasky. Bad move all around.
This is a truncated (narrated) version of the "fight" (profanity alert).
The New York Post reported on it as well:
He dropped his gloves almost like a hockey player ready to fight. But nobody came to challenge him at that moment. That is, until one of the guys waiting — speculated to be former NHL tough guy Nick Tarnasky — told the already angry man, “You’re not scaring anybody.”
When those were said, the angry man began to charge at the group of people.
The alleged ex-hockey enforcer grabbed the guy in the Hawaiian shirt and gave him an early shower as he tossed him into a pond nearby.
Tarnasky looks to be literally twice the size of Hawaiian shirt guy. Tarnasky repeatedly hits that guy in the face, saying “BANG!...BANG!" But this time, there were no referees to break it up and send Tarnasky to the penalty box.
The fake tough guy came back for more, was thrown into a pond, punched in the face, and then rag-dolled without getting really hurt for being a jerk, so that’s a good result. What fake tough guy can never do is “walk off” the next-day humiliation of being embarrassed on film.
The cops were called but Hawaiian shirt guy and his drunk group of bad golfers were long gone.
I usually don’t find these golf course fights “satisfying,” but this one ended with the best result. The slow-play guys were gone. The jerk was humiliated but not really hurt, and no one "pressed charges."
Lesson: Don’t drink to excess, then golf really slow, and then challenge a guy twice your size. It might end with you being filmed doing an impression of Peter Pan slamming into the grass.
If you are interested, here is a link to the full video.
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