Finally, some answers to the core question of all metaphysics: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Plato: To get to the essence of good

Marx: It was historically inevitable

Machiavelli: To instill fear in other chickens

Nietzsche: On the assertion of its will to power

Sartre: The chicken was ordered to cross the road

De Beauvoir: One is not born chicken, one becomes

Samuel Beckett: Because he was tired of waiting

Aristotle: To stop being in power, but in act

Camus: To challenge the absurdity of the world

Darwin: Because the chicken in the evolution of species, has become an animal crossing

Epicurus: To have fun

Kant: for respect the moral law

Pyrrho: What road ?

Zeno of Elea: To prove that he could never reach the other side

Kierkegaard: In despair of his chicken condition

Shakespeare: That is the question

Stuart Mill: To maximize his pleasure

Galilee: And yet, he crossed

Heidegger: Because the chicken is the shepherd of Being

Descartes: I cross, therefore I am

Hegel: To realize the reason in history

Spinoza: The chicken thinks he has freely crossed the road, but it ignores the causes he did so through

Rousseau: Because the chicken is good by nature

Pascal: Because the chicken is a thinking reed

Heraclitus: The chicken crossed because we never cross the same road twice

Hume: For me the chicken is a fictional idea

Husserl: It is the constitution of the ego that epoche, a mutation ego-ego notwithstanding the noetic-noematic component which is the origin of the object “road” for the subject “chicken”.

Mitterrand: The Road, it’s war

Confucius: Act against chicken as you would have them do unto you

Freud: The road is very clearly a phallic symbol, the fact of the cross reveals a profound liberation of the instincts (for that) chicken.

Leibniz: To maintain the universal harmony of the world.

Voltaire: To reduce intolerance

Aristotle: Because the chicken is a political animal