From “Corn Pop” to “you ain’t black” and beyond, Delaware dullard Joe Biden is one tough act to satirize. Tom Shilluecan be convincing but fans might dial it back to Kevin Nealon as Sen. Joe Biden in Saturday Night Live’s take on the Clarence Thomas hearings.
“Gentlemen! Gentlemen, please! Please!” Biden says. “Professor Hill, I want to thank you for your patience here today. You’ve shown remarkable courage throughout your testimony. It couldn’t have been easy for you – or any of us – to sit here for the last seven hours and talk about penis size, or large-breasted women having sex with animals, or pubic hairs on soft drink cans, or oral sex, or the black man’s sexual prowess, or large-breasted women having sex with animals. But we appreciate your candor. And we, uh, hope we can reschedule you for another session tomorrow.”
Biden wants to know if Thomas (Tim Meadows) discussed porno movies with Anita Hill (Ellen Cleghorne). A favorite turned out to be something called the “The Hind-Lick Manuever,” and that catches the attention of Sen. Howell Heflin, wonderfully played by Chris Farley.
“That’s a good movie, judge! But do you think hard-core porno is the way to go? Because I feel women prefer softer porn.” Then Sen. Strom Thurmond (Dana Carvey) jumps in.
“I agree with Senator Heflin. Yeah, that’s right! The women like something with more stories and costumes, that’ll transport ’em to another place and time. That’s right! Women don’t like close-ups of oversized genitalia! That’s just never gonna turn ’em on!” Sen. Edward Kennedy (Phil Hartman) can’t let that pass.
“Another good thing is to get them out on your boat for some reason,” Kennedy says, “because then it’s really hard for them to get away.” That prompts Biden to intervene.
“Do you have a question, Senator Kennedy?”
“Uh, yes, I do. Have you ever tried coming out of the bathroom nude, and acting like you didn’t know someone was there?”
That’s right up there with Hartman as a drunken Ted Kennedy hitting on Kitty Dukakis (Jan Hooks) in SNL’s “Dukakis After Dark.” Try and find anything like that going on today.