Somebody did something very naughty, and I need to know who did it.

I'm very serious here. If I don't get an answer, nobody gets anything to eat before dinner. Except for some light snacks around three. And cocktails at five, of course — I'm not a monster.

So I just read this morning that some terrible — but perhaps terribly clever — person did a small drone strike on the lead boat of toxic pixie and part-time female He-Man impersonator Greta Thunberg's Happy Fun Hamas Terrorist Relief Flotilla.

Or did they?

According to the flotilla, one of their vessels "was struck by a drone in Tunisian waters," and that an "investigation is currently underway and when more information is available it will be released immediately."

Stick a pin in that drone for a moment.

Officially called the Global Sumud Flotilla, Greta's Gaza blockade-buster collection of ships is reported to be the largest effort of its kind. The most recent reports indicate that the flotilla consists of more than 50 vessels from 44 countries. Its sponsors include the Freedom Flotilla Coalition, Global Movement to Gaza, Maghreb Sumud Flotilla, and Sumud Nusantara.

I plugged "Sumud" into Google Translate, and the best answer it gave me is that "Sumud" is the Filipino for "Sumud." I swear I'm not making this up. So I tried again with ChatGPT and learned that ṣumūd (صمود) is Arabic for steadfastness or perseverance. I did not ask either platform what the Arabic is for "My boat is on fire."

During my research, I also learned that ṣumūd became a popular idea following the Six Day War in 1967, and refers to the idea of enduring and resisting under occupation or adversity, "not only through armed struggle but also through simply remaining on the land."

But you know, maybe a little armed struggle. And judging by their post-Six-Day-War activities,19 metric butt-tons of terrorism. 

These are all pro-Palestinian groups that, in this writer's opinion, should be considered "objectively pro-terrorist," to paraphrase George Orwell's estimation of British pacifists in the face of Nazi aggression. And by attempting to break the blockade, the groups aim to be materially pro-terrorist, too. 

Vessels taking part in the flotilla launched late last month and are gathering in the Mediterranean before attempting to break Israel's blockade of the Gaza coast as the IDF fights there to eliminate Hamas and remove the threat of another Oct. 7-style terror invasion. 

Thunberg serves as the flotilla's public face, and, I know, right?

Now that we’ve met Greta’s Merry Band of Maritime Martyrs, here’s the juicy bit.

While the group claimed it was a drone attack, new video shows a crew member aboard the so-called "Family Boat" misfiring a flare and starting the fire.

There are no reports of injuries or deaths, and Tunisian authorities say there was zero drone activity in the area.

Even before the flare video came out, I had my doubts. Just going by what we saw in Doha, Qatar, on Tuesday — the Israelis blew up a Hamas meeting, reportedly taking out much of the group's senior leadership — when those tricky Israelis want to blow something up, they blow it up real good.

What we have here is a false-flag Sumud press release, meant to drum up sympathy for Hamas while (of course) generating even more hatred for the Jews. Because that's what the world needs.

But just in case there was or ever is a genuine attempt by some naughty person or persons to disrupt the Happy Fun Hamas Terrorist Relief Flotilla, I have to know who.

Because I'll buy the cocktails, and I won't even make them wait until five o'clock.

Recommended: Where Were You the Day Hezbollah Got Its Na-Nas Blown Off?

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Because when toxic pixies start flotillas for terrorists, you need a columnist who’s not afraid to say:“Yeah, that boat needed sinking.”