Dear Liberal Revolutionary,

Howdy! We see you lurking in the shadows, conducting your “opposition research” via an elaborate chain of Rube Goldberg-esque VPNs — mining data, stealing ideas, and reporting back to your party bosses. (By the way, do us both a favor and close that third tab in your background ASAP. Dude, that’s frickin’ gross.)

But all this data is meaningless if you can’t incorporate it into a functional game plan. And, to be perfectly honest, your recent track record for competency isn’t so good. 

More likely than not, you’ll screw this up, too.

So, I’ll make it super-easy for you: Here’s how you can take over the Democratic Party and install the presidential nominee of your choice. After all, you can’t destroy America until you take over the Democratic Party first. (Patience, young Grasshopper.) 

Best of all, it’ll only take three easy steps:

STEP ONE: Run against the Democratic Party. Use Israel and/or antisemitism as your wedge issue.

If you’re a liberal, you’re anti-Trump — period, end of story. That’s where everyone on your side already is, was, and will forever be — and there ain’t much more meat on that bone. (I’m speaking metaphorically, of course: If you’re a liberal, you’re probably a vegetarian. Meat is murder, blah-blah-blah.)

You’re not gonna distinguish yourself by attacking Trump. Thems fishing waters are overcrowded. Everyone and their brother (who identifies as their sister) is already fishing there.

But there’s another target that’s almost as hated and despised as the Great Orange Monster: The Democratic Party.

Especially the establishment!

They’re rich and powerful. They’re old and out of touch. And they’re the ones who screwed everything up — the lies, dishonesty, and cover-up of Biden’s senility — that directly led to “literally Hitler” returning to the White House.

It’s all their fault!

Besides, that’s exactly what your base wants to hear:

Despite the fact that Mr. Trump’s approval rating has fallen to its lowest point since Inauguration Day, Democrats are facing historically ugly numbers of their own. Poll after poll has shown them to be underwater, with higher unfavorable ratings than favorable ones. In four July surveys, Democrats were between 26 and 30 percentage points underwater, hitting levels of unpopularity not seen in decades. In the long-running Gallup survey, the Democratic Party’s approval rating hit 34%, the lowest ever recorded by the polling firm.

One subgroup driving the Democrats’ poor ratings: their own base. A recent CNN poll found that Democratic voters currently hold far more negative views of their own party than Republican voters do of theirs. [emphasis added]

It’s a simple calculus: Fish in the lake with the most fish and the least competition. That’s attacking the DNC. And the issue I’d use to illustrate the ineptitude and moral failings of the Democratic Party is the “genocide” in Gaza. 

Right now, Israel is hated and despised by the left. Even visiting Israel is considered a heinous sin. (Check out the NSFW comment section: There’d be less liberal blowback if those Democrats visited communist China! ‘Tis the power of propaganda — and the upside of banning pro-Uyghurs posts on TikTok.)

But hey, if that’s where your base is, a wise candidate meets ‘em where they are. In fact, I’d double down and accuse the entire DNC of being “all about the Benjamins, baby,” and lean straight into every antisemitic trope: Jewish money is corrupting the DNC; “foreign governments” are secretly running American foreign policy; AIPAC is evil; Israel is an illegitimate, racist, genocidal nation; the Palestinians are the moral equivalents of America’s Founding Fathers.

There’s a schism between where the base is and where the Democratic establishment is. So why not use it as a wedge issue?

Best of all, if your opponent is a politician with a track record of saying pro-Israel things (cough, Kamala Harris, John Fetterman) or — better yet! — a Jew (cough, Josh Shapiro, Rahm Emanuel), it’d be a helluva hammer.

STEP TWO: Cash in on class envy by blaming EVERYTHING on the billionaires.

The left’s hatred of capitalism cannot be overstated. Especially among younger liberals, you’re hearing an awful lot about “late stage capitalism,” which is something stupid people say when they want to sound smart while complaining about inequality.

But it’s less about inequality than it is about affordability.

Nobody would care about the size of Elon Musk’s bank account if housing was cheap and plentiful, good-paying jobs were abundant, and the American Dream were accessible to everyone. But after half a decade of runaway inflation, the loss of our manufacturing base, and the influx of 12 to 20 million illegals (who had to live, work, and get medical care somewhere), our system is out of balance.

Your base is furious. It’s your job to be the avatar of their grievances.

And hey, what do y’know? The perfect scapegoat is just sitting there: Billionaires.

Since your base is already hostile to capitalism, give ‘em someone specific to blame: Those rich, greedy billionaires who have all the cool toys, refuse to share their ill-gotten gains, and sneer at us from their mansions and limousines (while dining on Grey Poupon).

For all the talk about “late stage capitalism,” it’s probably more truthful to say that we’re in “late stage liberalism.” For most of the last century, promising extra government services and/or an extended feeding at the government trough was sufficient for liberal voters. Back then, the goal was helping the destitute — a “hand up, not a handout,” as Jesse Jackson used to say.

Not anymore. Today, it’s also about punishing high-achievers for the sin of being successful. 

Follow in the footsteps of New York’s next mayor, Zohran Mamdani:

“I don’t think we should have billionaires because frankly it is so much money in a moment of such inequality and ultimately what we need more of is equality…”

Members of the Democratic Party establishment can’t go hardcore anti-billionaire because they depend on rich liberals for donations. But that’s a “they/them” problem; as an up-and-coming leftwing revolutionary, you’re unencumbered by those concerns. So have at it, young firebrand: Flame on, bridge gone!

Plus, as an added benefit, you can use the issue to beat the hell out of the big, bulbous billionaire (and likely 2028 rival), Gov. JB Pritzker.

Related: When Innovation Thinks Like Bob, the Enemy Doesn’t Stand a Chance

STEP THREE: Announce a nationwide “reeducation” campaign, modeled after post-World War II Germany, to ensure that Nazism Trumpism never again returns.

It’s been attributed to Henry Ford: “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.” Steve Jobs said something similar: “People don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”

Part of being a leader is getting a little bit ahead of the curve — and anticipating the “next big thing” that captures hearts and minds. A purely reactionary campaign comes across as docile, subservient, and unimaginative. That won’t work in 2028, because liberals are famished for a bold new vision that they can believe in. 

“Leading from behind” didn’t work in Libya and it won’t win you the Democratic Party’s nomination for president. When your base demands boldness, give ‘em something bold!

And the boldest move of all would be the permanent destruction of the MAGA movement. This is what liberals crave more than anything else!

We’re already seeing liberals fantasize about a future “Museum of the Trump Resistance”:

The eventual museum that I imagine will honor the Americans who hid immigrants at risk of illegal deportation and in some cases torture. It will honor mayors and governors and local police who refused to cooperate with ICE. It will honor college presidents who refused to be played off against each other. We need far more solidarity among leaders of institutions. As of now, too many are eager to cut deals, Vichy-style.

Similarly, liberals are daydreaming about a post-Trump “reckoning,” where everyone FINALLY agrees they were right all along: Trump really is Hitler!

Don’t believe me? Here’s the opening paragraph from a column in Forward, “Germany had a complicated reckoning with its NAZI past — will post-Trump America face a similar reckoning?”:

Eight decades ago, one of the most formidable challenges for postwar Germany was what to do about the millions of Germans who remained die-hard loyalists of Adolf Hitler. With a third of Americans seemingly in hypnotic thrall to Donald Trump, we face a similar reckoning.

If you wanna play your base like a fiddle, meet ‘em where they are and double down on their biases. Don’t argue; reinforce.

Your base believes Trump is “literally Hitler.” Well, if he’s literally Hitler, then his supporters are literally Nazis.

And Nazis deserve reeducation camps. 

Trump Derangement Syndrome is a very real thing. Liberals are yearning for a solution — something that will not only guarantee that “literally Hitler” won’t ever darken their dreams again, but will also vindicate their brave, selfless, patriotic opposition to this Trumpian nightmare.

If your audience believes that the Orange Monster’s followers deserve a Clockwork Orange “reeducation,” then Kubrick the hell out of it. Don’t overthink it. Just do it.

It’s Sales 101: Give your audience what they want.

There you go, young liberal revolutionary: Your blueprint to a complete and total takeover of the Democratic Party. It’s fast, simple, and easy to implement.

And you can do it in just three steps.

One Last Thing: The Democrats are on the ropes, but make no mistake: The donkeys are still dangerous. 2025 will either go down in history as the year we finally Made America Great Again — or the year it all slipped through our fingers. We need your help to succeed! As a VIP member, you’ll receive exclusive access to all our family of sites (PJ Media, Townhall, RedState, twitchy, Hot Air, Bearing Arms): More stories, more videos, more content, more fun, more conservatism, more EVERYTHING! And if you CLICK HERE and use the promo code FIGHT you’ll receive a Trumpian 60% discount! 

Thank you for your consideration!