No special guest this week, sorry to say. It seems that covering four nights of the Democratic National Convention has led to company-wide burnout. A couple of writers — I can't name names — might have voluntarily committed themselves to a short-term stay at a... well, let's just call it a rest facility.

(Hey, if you aren't already a VIP Gold member who can actually take part in these live chats, now's your chance with our 60% off FIGHT promotion. Just a few bucks a month for all of this? C'mon!)

I have it on good word that another writer — again, I can't say who but his name almost rhymes with Ned Pleurisy — is in a medically induced coma.

The reports of my just-installed robot liver are grossly exaggerated.

Nevertheless, Stephen Kruiser and Yours Truly are too dedicated to wimp out on your Five O'Clock Somewhere live chat today, unlike that Barry O. Donner fellow.

We'll see you at 3 p.m. Eastern — can't wait!