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Trish Bendix


NextImg:Ronny Chieng Ponders Iran’s Threat to Kill a Sunbathing Trump

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Navel Grazing

A senior adviser to Iran’s supreme leader issued an assassination threat against President Trump on Wednesday, remarking that Trump should be careful while sunbathing at Mar-a-Lago, because a small drone might hit him in the navel.

Ronny Chieng called the threat “an attack on all of America, because now we all have to picture him with his bare belly glistening in the sun.”

“Is this really a threat, though? What, you’re going to hit his navel with a small drone? Like, Iran went from building a nuclear bomb to ‘We’re going to turn his outie into an innie.’” — RONNY CHIENG

“Are they threatening to assassinate him or poke him like he’s the Pillsbury Doughboy?” — RONNY CHIENG

“Also, Iran, are you the only people in the world that can’t tell Donald Trump uses spray tan? He’s not in the sun, OK? Are you looking at pictures of him, like, ‘Damn, this guy must have spent all week at the beach.'?” — RONNY CHIENG

“Wow, I didn’t think a threat like that would unlock his core childhood memories. Maybe keep asking him about this stuff. Like, he might have an emotional breakthrough: ‘Yeah, last time I sunbathed was when I was 7, and my mom said she didn’t love me. And I forgive her. Oh, my God, I’m healed! Let the immigrants stay!’” — RONNY CHIENG, riffing on Trump’s responding to a question about the threat by recalling that he last sunbathed around age 7

The Punchiest Punchlines (Back to Biden Edition)

“Joe Biden’s former doctor refused to answer a single question about the ex-president’s poor health. Wow, he seems like the perfect doctor to treat my secret warts.” — GREG GUTFELD

“Yep, he pled the Fifth to all questions, claiming doctor-patient privilege, which I get. It’s the only thing stopping my doctor from telling the world about my birthmark that looks like Brit Hume.” — GREG GUTFELD

“When asked about Biden’s decline, he simply referred them to the coroner’s report.” — GREG GUTFELD

The Bits Worth Watching

Anthony Anderson’s mother celebrated her 72nd birthday in style during her son’s last night as guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

Also, Check This Out

Image
“Self-Portrait” by Beauford Delaney. In a 1964 self-portrait, the artist renders himself as a coloring book come to life. Credit...Estate of Beauford Delaney and Derek L. Spratley; Michael Rosenfeld Gallery LLC

A new exhibition of Beauford Delaney’s work on paper showcases the paradox at the heart of his art.