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NYTimes
New York Times
22 Jan 2025
Trish Bendix


NextImg:Late Night Tries to Keep Up With Trump’s Executive Orders

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Order, Order

President Trump signed a flurry of executive orders within hours of being sworn in on Monday. On Tuesday’s “Daily Show,” Ronny Chieng tried his best to keep up.

“I mean, if you could put anything in front of him yesterday, he would have signed it. Melania, now’s your chance to update the prenup. Go, go, go, go!” — RONNY CHIENG

“He froze the federal hiring bill … something about genders … and he said Cuba is a state-sponsored terrorist now? He renamed a mountain … dishwashers are less efficient? What, he can do that?” — RONNY CHIENG

“OK, sure, he pulled out of the W.H.O., but, like, who are those guys? What are the odds there’s ever going to be a pandemic requiring global cooperation?” — RONNY CHIENG, referring to the World Health Organization

“Does it really matter? One year, we’re in; the next year, we’re out. We've been doing the hokey pokey with these guys for like 12 years. They don’t even put us in the group chat anymore, OK?” — RONNY CHIENG on Trump withdrawing the United States from the Paris climate accord

“Also, news flash, Paris accord: Yo, we’re not going to reach the emission goals anyway, OK? This world is over! It’s just an excuse to go to Paris, which, uh, overrated?” — RONNY CHIENG

The Punchiest Punchlines (Inauguration Ink Edition)

“One of Trump’s first moves as president was to pardon nearly all of the 1,600 Jan. 6 defendants. Yep, the Jan. 6 rioters are free. They were so excited to be reunited with their friends and family who turned them in.” — JIMMY FALLON

“OK, look, freeing violent criminals from prison seems less moderate and more like something Bane did, OK? But you know what? If you know your history, in that situation, Batman fixed it.” — RONNY CHIENG


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