Jonathan writes: My wife and I had dinner with another couple. The other gentleman (we’ll call him Steve) and I split the bill. When our cards came back, Steve asked me how much I was tipping. I was dumbfounded. “So the tips match,” he said. I asked my wife, and she agreed the tips did need to match. Who’s right?

The question does feel a bit nosy, so I rule in your favor, but warily. My guess is that one of you (we’ll call him Steve) was worried that the other (we’ll call him You) was about to undertip, and your wife shared his worry. Only you know the truth. But it’s my experience that those who think and argue and write letters about tipping, tend to be, well, tipping-suspicious. (We’ll call them cheapskates.) Yes, the American system of tipping is flawed, but it is how those who are serving you get paid. Think less and tip more, I say. If this tip isn’t for you, leave it for someone who needs it.