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Props for the Big Guy
Both Israel and Hamas have accepted a peace deal brokered by President Trump that paves the way for a cease-fire in Gaza and the return of the hostages held by Hamas.
“This is one of those sentences that you almost never hear, but there’s good news coming out of the Middle East,” Josh Johnson said on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
“Don’t get me wrong, this is astonishing, because if this peace holds, it means the guy who couldn’t stop a fight between Gary Busey and Meat Loaf brokered peace in the Middle East.” — JOSH JOHNSON
“That’s right, a peace deal has been reached between Israel and Hamas, and it’s based on the framework Donald Trump proposed, which means another thing you almost never hear, and I can’t believe I’m saying this: I got to give Donald Trump some props here, you know? It doesn’t happen a lot. In fact, I can only think of this, the Covid vaccine and ‘Home Alone 2.’” — JOSH JOHNSON
“So Trump, when it comes to peace, you did it, you know? I mean, you also did a big portion of the war. But you did the peace, too. It’s like how white people did slavery in America, but … but … they also ended slavery in America.” — JOSH JOHNSON
“You know things are crazy when Israel and Hamas are getting along better than Democrats and Republicans. It’s, like, ‘When are they going to make that deal?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The last time Trump felt this proud was when he correctly guessed which one was cake.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Nobel Edition)
“Last night, Trump announced the deal. He was like, ‘Great news, we’re one step closer to me winning the Nobel Peace Prize. I mean, ending the war.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“And, look, if this deal holds, maybe we should give Trump the Nobel Peace Prize. [audience boos] Or, or, or — and you won’t like this either — we let him burn the Epstein files. He only gets one, but he gets to pick.” — JOSH JOHNSON
The Bits Worth Watching
The comedian Adam Pally talked about his new HBO special on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
In a new, one-woman Off Broadway play, “Nothing Can Take You From the Hand of God,” the “Severance” star Jen Tullock draws on her experiences growing up in a fervidly Christian family.