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‘Don’t Hate the Player’

President Trump fired a slew of independent watchdogs, known as inspectors general, at a variety of federal agencies on Friday night. News outlets called it a purge.

“That only leaves — no one knows how many left. I have no idea,” Jon Stewart said on Monday’s “Daily Show.”

“The point is, we have 17 less inspectors general. Who knows how many generals will now go uninspected?” — JON STEWART

“Inspectors general date back to the Watergate era, when Congress installed them inside various agencies as an independent check against mismanagement and abuse of power. Yeah, but maybe Trump is getting rid of all the oversight so no one sees him doing anything good! He’s so humble.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“For some reason, we have given presidents the power of a king, and then we say, ‘Oh, by the way, with that power, you’re not going to get all, like, kingly and [expletive] on us, right?’ To put that in constitutional terms, if I could: ‘Don’t hate the player, hate the founding fathers.’” — JON STEWART

Big, Beautiful Valves

Trump visited Los Angeles a few days ago to observe the damage from the wildfires. He promised Southern California “unlimited water” from the Pacific Northwest.

Jimmy Kimmel joked on Monday that Trump would issue an executive order “making the whole state a Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, and that should solve all our problems.”