Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Mea Culpa
Jimmy Kimmel made an emotional return to ABC on Tuesday night, receiving a standing ovation as he launched into his first monologue since the network suspended him last Wednesday.
“Anyway, as I was saying before I was interrupted,” Kimmel began.
“I’m not sure who had a weirder 48 hours, me or the C.E.O. of Tylenol.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Kimmel said the support he’d received was overwhelming, from “all the people in the world.” Among the friends Kimmel thanked were his late night peers:
“It would take all week to list all of them. But someone I do especially want to mention are my fellow late night talk show hosts, my friend Stephen Colbert — who’s found himself in this predicament. My friends Jon Stewart, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon, John Oliver, Conan O’Brien, James Corden, Arsenio, Kathy, Wanda, Chelsea, even Jay reached out. I heard from late night hosts in other countries — from Ireland and from Germany. The guy in Germany offered me a job. Can you imagine? This country has become so authoritarian the Germans are like, ‘Come here’!” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Kimmel became emotional addressing Charlie Kirk’s killing, tearfully discussing the comments he made that got him in hot water.
“I’ve been hearing a lot about what I need to say and do tonight, and the truth is, I don’t think what I have to say is going to make much of a difference: If you like me, you like me, if you don’t, you don’t. I have no illusions about changing anyone’s mind. But I do want to make something clear, because it’s important to me as a human, and that is — you understand that it was never my intention to make light of the murder of a young man. I don’t — I don’t think there’s anything funny about it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And also, selfishly, I am a person who gets a lot of threats. I get many ugly and scary threats against my life, my wife, my kids, my co-workers, because of what I choose to say, and I know those threats don’t come from the kind of people on the right who I know and love, so, that’s what I wanted to say on that subject. But I don’t want to make this about me, because — and I know this is what people say when they make things about them — but I really don’t.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Kimmel also discussed the issue of free speech at the heart of his suspension, saying he was not happy when his show was pulled from the air, and was grateful for the opportunity to be reinstated.
“I’ve had the opportunity to meet and spend time with comedians and talk show hosts from countries like Russia, countries in the Middle East who told me they would get thrown in prison for making fun of those in power and worse than being thrown in prison. They know how lucky we are here. Our freedom to speak is what they admire most about this country, and that’s something I’m embarrassed to say I took for granted until they pulled my friend Stephen off the air, and tried to coerce the affiliates who run our show in the cities that you live in to take my show off the air. That’s not legal, that’s not American. That is un-American, and it is so dangerous.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“A lot of people have been asking me if there are conditions for my return to the air, and there is one. Disney has asked me to read the following statement, and I have agreed to do it. Here we go: ‘To reactivate your Disney+ and Hulu account, open the Disney+ app on your smart TV or TV-connected device.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (The Peanut Gallery Edition)
“Welcome to ‘The Tonight Show.’ Hey, and if you’re tuning in to see what I’ll say about my suspension the last couple of days, again you’re watching the wrong Jimmy.” — JIMMY FALLON
“I’m going to say thanks to everybody in here and to everybody watching from home, who I think might just be my wife, Evie, because everybody else is probably watching ABC because tonight Jimmy Kimmel returned to the airwaves.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Later tonight, Jimmy Kimmel will return after he was taken off the air. [audience boos] I know. Yeah, and here I thought America had a strict policy against torture.” — GREG GUTFELD
“I’m glad Kimmel’s back. He’s a wonderful fella. To know him well is to admire him immensely, even if he takes the whole summer off.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Seth Meyers went day drinking with the “Las Culturistas” co-hosts Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers for Tuesday’s “Late Night.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The country music star Lainey Wilson will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
“The Lowdown,” Sterlin Harjo’s scrappy noir follow-up to “Reservation Dogs,” has the same deep sense of place but a lot more beat-downs.