A reader emailed me recently musing about a birthday for her friend, who is turning 40 this week. This put me in the mind of Joseph Brodsky’s poem “May 24, 1980,” which I’ve given to many friends on the occasion of their 40th birthdays. Brodsky takes stock of his life in language that’s enchanting: “From the height of a glacier I beheld half a world, the earthly width. / Twice have drowned, thrice let knives rake my nitty-gritty.” He concludes that, after all he’s experienced, including prison and exile, “until brown clay has been rammed down my larynx, / only gratitude will be gushing from it.”
Milestone birthdays mark the passage from one decade to another, but they also serve as a sort of release valve. The year before the milestone — 39, 59, 79 — is a time of anticipation, pent-up energy, approaching the summit. Then you reach the decennial and all that energy dissipates. You’re no longer in the approach; you’re there. It can feel like a relief to actually turn the age you’ve been nearing for the past year.
This is, of course, if you put stock in the division of life into 10-year chunks. Some ancient Greek philosophers proposed life should be divided into seven-year spans, from early childhood to old age. Many dismiss the importance of birthdays at all: Why celebrate aging? Why make a big deal out of something that happens to everyone, every year? Who needs another office cake?
But for those who are looking for structure and meaning in how we approach our days, milestone birthdays are natural times for celebration as well as reflection: What have I done with my time thus far? What do I want to do with the time to come? Brodsky’s declaration of gratitude adds another dimension to this examination: What am I thankful for? Beyond the pleasures and gifts and close calls and lucky breaks, can I admit the painful experiences into that anthology? The scientist and meditation teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn calls this “the full catastrophe.” Living mindfully is to accept all of life, the good and the bad, without judgment.
The wisdom that “40 is the old age of youth; 50 the youth of old age” is attributed to Victor Hugo. I turned 50 last year and certainly felt I had advanced into a new stage of life. Fifty felt profoundly different from 49, in a way no single year change ever had before. I imagine the same will be true for each decade I’m lucky enough to crest from now on. I hope the reader turning 40 this week feels wise and optimistic, befitting of someone entering the old age of youth. I hope she is experiencing a Brodskyesque gratitude for everything that’s happened in her life up to now. I hope we all are, whether we’re celebrating big birthdays or not.
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Comey indictment
After the indictment of James Comey, the former F.B.I. director, President Trump cheered the charges and predicted that more indictments were coming. “There’ll be others,” he said.
Comey’s indictment is only two pages long and contains so little detail that legal experts said it was hard to assess its merits.
Comey appeared to take the news of the indictment calmly. In a video posted to social media, he said, “I have great confidence in the federal justice system and I’m innocent, so let’s have a trial.”
How did pressure from Trump lead to the extraordinary indictment of Comey? In the video below, Maggie Haberman, a White House correspondent, explains.