Will & Harper, the new Netflix documentary about Will Ferrell and Harper Steele, is a movie for everyone. It’s a purely human story that is, at its heart, about the love between two longtime friends and former Saturday Night Live colleagues. But it’s also a movie that invites questions, confusion, and mistakes from a middle-aged, cis-gendered straight guy about his trans friend—all without judgement. And that’s why Will & Harper is the perfect watch for anyone over 40 who want to better understand what younger generations already know: Trans people are, well, people.
Directed by Josh Greenbaum, Will & Harper opens on Ferrell recounting an email he received from his good friend and former SNL head writer, Harper Steele, coming out to him as a trans woman. (She hadn’t yet landed on the name Harper, and simply signed off as “Name forthcoming.”) When Ferrell and Steele met up for the first time post-email, Steele lamented that she may no longer be able to take cross-country road trips across middle America anymore—at least, not without feeling unsafe. So Ferrell offered to come with Steele on her next trip, both to act as a backup and to better understand this new-to-him version of his friend.
More than once, Steele assures Ferrell that he’s allowed to ask her anything. More than once, that results in fumbling, awkward conversations—like an uncomfortable scene where Ferrell haltingly asks Steele about her breast implants. But Steele, true to her word, never gets offended. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t somtimes gently nudge her friend in the right direction. There’s a moment Steele gets mis-gendered by a waitress, and Ferrell visibly freezes up.
“You know what you should do?” Steele says to Ferrell, after the incident. “You should go, ‘What do you want, little lady who’s a woman?'”
Steele says this with the light-hearted cadence of a joke, but it doubles as a non-confrontational, judgement-free suggestion for Ferrell on how to better support his friend. It’s clear Ferrell had no idea how to respond in the moment. Steele doesn’t hate him for that—she simply teaches him what to do next time. And Ferrell listens. As the film progresses, he takes Steele’s advice to heart, referring to his friend as “Ms. Harper Steele” to a different waiter at a different restaurant, before any assumptions can be made. And it’s not just a lesson for Ferrell—it’s a lesson for everyone who watches the film.
It’s hard to oversell just how big of a deal it is to witness a celebrity like Will Ferrell learning about trans etiquette in real time. As Steele points at during a scene where she and Ferrell sit courtside at a Pacers game, you don’t see A-listers being photographed sitting next to their trans friends at basketball games. Twenty years ago, Ferrell was the biggest name in comedy, beloved by teen boys everywhere. Now that is fan base has aged alongside him, he’s got the middle-class white-men-over-40 demographic on lock.
That’s not necessarily the demographic we think of as being knowledgeable and welcoming to the trans community. It’s an overgeneralization, sure—some middle-aged people are far more open-minded than modern-day teens. But younger people in America are statistically more likely to personally know a trans person. With Will & Harper, Ferrell offers his fans an intimate, personal connection to a trans woman. For some, that connection may be the first of its kind. Like Will & Grace did for the gay community in the ’90s, that sort of connection can sow seeds of life-changing empathy.
Case in point: During one of the movie’s more tense scenes, a patron of a Texas steakhouse shouts “Ricky Bobby!” at Ferrell, referencing his 2006 hit comedy, Talladega Nights. When these so-called fans realize Ferrell is dining with a trans woman, some turn on him. They take to social media to decry their former comedy king for “going woke.” Ferrell is so distraught by this response, he breaks down in tears. While some of Ferrell’s former fans will inevitably write off Will & Harper in a similar manner, one hopes that a larger portion of them will follow his example of listening, learning, and growing.
It’s hard to imagine watching Will & Harper to the end without feeling moved by this beautiful friendship. You witness both comedians grow far closer and more comfortable with each other. By the film’s final scene, Ferrell’s previous discomfort has all but vanished. As he tells Harper, he no longer remembers her as the man he once thought he knew. It was a process that required communication and quality time. But Ferrell got there. And, hopefully, his Gen X fan base can, too.