“Hey Stitch, just wondering if your late season doldrums are due to some overused or malfunctioning equipment with your laptop … a call to the bullpen for some new equipment could be the answer. May run you about 250 oscargambles.” — Don Brassil

Today’s pick is being done on a new laptop, Don.

Oh, and I got a new haircut for $25 from Edward Scissorhands.

The White Sox’s Shane Smith and the Mariners’ Logan Gilbert could both use new laptops and haircuts, as well.

$50 on the Chisox.

A zoo in Denmark has started a program where people can send their pets to be used as food for the zoo’s predators.

There’s a few Mutts I’d like to send ASAP.

Cleveland’s Gavin Williams no-hit the Mets for 8 ¹/₃ innings.

With two outs to go and 40,000-plus Citi Field fans sitting on history, Juan Soto homered.

Too little, too late.

David Peterson gave up homers to David Fry and Angel Martínez, and the Guards charred the Mutts 4-1.

Denmark, huh?

Down -656 wallybackmans.