When it comes to dating, it’s not all about the Benjamins.
That’s right: One-half of Tinseltown “It” couple Bennifer — and more importantly, this article’s author — is apparently the radioactive “Karen” of the dating world. Women are flocking to TikTok in droves to complain and commiserate about the perils of dating people named Ben in videos amassing millions of views online.
Aptly called the “Ben Stage,” the unfortunate phenomenon is described as the moment that a relationship went off the rails.
The term was coined earlier this month by TikTok user @iamgubste, who posted a video warning that if you’ve gone through your “Ben Stage,” then “you’d better run.”
The dating PSA has garnered more than 12.8 million views and over 70,000 comments, with many people seconding her assessment. (Yes, The Post has reached out to perhaps the most-high-profile Ben, Jennifer Lopez’s lover Ben Affleck, for comment.)
In another clip, user @emsregrets wrote: “I don’t think any people dream of being Ben’s partner,” borrowing a retooled lyric from the Carly Simon hit, “You’re So Vain.”
“I’m pretty sure Ben is the biggest red flag of a name,” they declared.
Um … ouch?
Why is Ben such a scarlet letter in romantic circles? Because the dude’s apparently responsible for more failed relationships than a star sign obsession. In an interview with the Mirror, a 22-year-old Londoner named Emily described one “Ben Stage” incident in which she met a Ben while “drunk” and instantly “clicked” with him.
However, the aspiring girlfriend realized something was awry after they went back to her place and were interrupted by multiple calls on his cell.
“The whole time he was receiving calls from this girl, who ended up being his long-term girlfriend,” recalled the scorned gal.
Despite the apparent betrayal, Ben apologized and promised to patch things up, even claiming that he was falling in love with her. She believed him, only to find out later that the scoundrel had been cheating with both parties simultaneously.
“It was such a traumatic situation and made me an emotional wreck for a couple of years, but it definitely taught me a few lessons!” Emily said.
Another Los Angeles-based Ben survivor named Raven shared a nightmarish account involving a B team member — whom she dated for two years and at one point suggested she join him for a job interview in Chicago, as the company was picking up his expenses. Unfortunately, she had to drive 3½ hours to their weekend getaway, as Ben didn’t own a car.
Things only worsened when they arrived and Raven saw that B had chosen an AirBnB in a “sketchy” area, according to the Mirror, with three generations of a family still living there, including the soundtrack of a “screaming” baby. The aghast woman left immediately as did Ben, who “didn’t say a single word” during the entire trip back, which was five hours long due to the traffic. In addition, Raven claimed, Ben “pocketed all of the money his job had given him for gas and parking in reimbursements.”
Raven somehow stuck around, but her final straw came when Ben gave her the cold shoulder again during a trip to Australia, whereupon she finally broke it off after two years.
It’s unclear whether the Ben stigma lies with the name itself, which is a Hebrew term for “swipe left.” OK, not really, although “Benjamin” actually means “son of the right hand.”
According to UK relationship expert Pippa Murphy, the phenomenon is not specifically about guys named “Ben” — it’s about something called “confirmation bias,” she said.
“It’s a way of using our past experiences to confirm the things we already believe to be true,” said Pippa, who noted that people are wary of “bad” names due to their own prior history.
“If you’ve ever been hurt by someone with a certain name before, then your brain will automatically look for more clues that confirm your beliefs about them being bad,” she said.
That, unfortunately, doesn’t protect the poor Bens from sustaining collateral damage because of it. Many members of the tribe posted “sad” reaction videos in response to @iamgubste’s original clip, while some Ben daters even filmed videos of their partners feigning outrage over the clip.
No word as to whether this writer was adversely affected by stigma. It would be unfortunate for yours truly to be Tok-blocked before even setting up a Tinder account, or perhaps even — gasp — slapped with a preemptive “D-bag tax.”
This particular Ben already might be an undateable double whammy anyway, given a collection of fish selfies — which could be viewed by many women as a symptom of toxic bass-culinity.