Did you ever try seven minutes in heaven during high school? A summer holiday pastime most of us cringe at the memory of.
But, something was thrilling about the privacy (cupboard), new location (friend’s parent’s basement) and new sensations (surprising tongue techniques) associated with those early experiences, even if they were more clammy than steamy.
Now, as adults, it takes more than a fumbled bra-unhooking attempt to deliver a thrill – but our lives are frequently too busy for experimentation. Enter summer holiday sex. Sunny days, fresh cut flowers on a hotel armoire, different sheets and time uninterrupted by emails, screeching kids and pets can provide us with the reset we need to shake things up with new summer holiday sex positions.
Dr Linda Kirkman, sexologist, sex therapist and researcher, says there’s a reason we’re more open to sexual experimentation on holidays.
“When you’re on holiday, time can feel different. You’re not surrounded by your normal reminders and routines like ‘I haven’t done the dishes, and the dog wants to go out,” she explains.
But, before you pour yourself a martini and tie yourself in every knot in the kama sutra, there are steps to set yourself up for success. The first is checking in with your partner before springing a slew of new moves on them; remember, just like sky-diving or visiting an all-seafood restaurant, one person’s erotic fantasy can be another’s sexual nightmare. New sex positions can promise unknown pleasures, but there’s always the risk you’ll discover something you absolutely can’t stand, so keep communication flowing.
And, if you have discovered something you hate, there are a few magic phrases to drop without bruising your partner’s ego and ending the fun (“That’s so annoying” isn’t one of them). Kirkman says to stick with “that would be even better if…”. Keep things upbeat and actionable.
And, for maximum pleasure, avoid what Kirkman calls the “Valentine’s Day error”. Don’t eat before sex. This isn’t just because turning yourself upside down after a four-course French bistro meal can be distractingly stomach-churning.
“Once your blood flow goes to digestion, it’s not going to erectile tissue,” says Kirkman. Erectile tissue resides in both the clitoris and the penis, so this is terrible news for everyone’s chances of orgasm. Plus, most of us feel less than energetic after a large meal.
“Most people get home from dinner, and all they want to do is sleep,” says Kirkman. So, in her words, “If you’re going out to dinner, f*ck first.”
These are the best sex positions to try this summer holiday, with expert advice.
Saila Insua Lopez is a physiotherapist and women’s health expert. She says some of the best sex positions can be dangerous with the wrong approach. But, “there are ways to execute these without ending up in the emergency room,” she says.
“The fact is, we’re educated in issues of STI prevention and reproductive issues, but there’s little information about obtaining pleasure.” Sex ed skipped how to execute thrilling sexual feats without injury.
“Some anatomically complicated sex positions can make it harder for both parties to orgasm, or simply escape without injury,” she says.
She recommends making foreplay a dry run: “Play a game with your partner trying the positions and movements in your underwear – it will make the sex positions much easier and more pleasurable later on.”
And, study up. Here’s a breakdown of how to pull off the hottest summer sex positions for your holiday break.
A twist on classic missionary position, the butterfly provides stability but gives the penetrating partner a better view than the classic missionary position. It also narrows the vaginal canal and allows for better stimulation of the G-spot as the penetrating partner thrusts.
How to: Simply lay on your back before lifting your legs to a 90-degree angle and hooking them over your partner’s shoulders. Voila.
Dial it up: Depending on your lower back strength, you can lift your hips for deeper penetration or have your partner lift them for you
Not your partner’s ex, that is. This position creates perfect alignment for stimulating the G-spot, creates a tighter fit and provides a pleasant view for both parties.
How to: Raise your legs to a 90-degree and crisscross resting against your partner’s shoulders, creating a snug fit. The penetrating partner can hold the receiving partner’s legs against their chest, hold their feet or lift their lower back for added excitement.
Dial things up: Spread yourself on elevated surfaces to make it easier for your partner in crime to penetrate you with their feet on the ground and make the most of your hotel room or AirBnB.
Doggy style is a classic for a reason; it is generally thought to provide the deepest penetration and has an animalistic edge. One common complaint? It’s one of the less intimate positions in the handbook. Eye contact has been shown to trigger not just a psychological connection but the release of chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which directly increase arousal and pleasure.
How to: Make the most of a new space and utilise a mirror to benefit from the erotic magic of eye contact between thrusts.
Dial things down: If the receiver has such weak upper body strength, it makes doggy style feel like an episode of Bambi on ice; try laying flat on your front with a pillow under your pelvis. Same penetration, none of the uncomfortable sensation.
Considered one of the most dangerous sex positions, the piledriver is one to try when you have plenty of time and have done your reading (and stretching).
The benefit of this position is stimulation of the G-spot and very deep penetration. It’s also perfect for couples who get a kick out of a challenge and has the added allure of leaving one partner (the penetrator) in total control, perfect for couples who like to explore power dynamics.
The cons? It places a whole lot of pressure on the receiver’s lower back. If the penetrator has an inflexible penis or one that points skyward when erect, the downwards thrust can feel uncomfortable and lead to injury.
How to: An actual piledriver is a piece of hardware that drills down into the soil, so this gives you an idea of the movement you’re trying to achieve. The receiver should rest their upper back on the floor with their legs folded over their head in an inverted L shape. The “giver” then squats over them, leans forward and penetrates the receiver’s vagina or anus.
Dial things up: This position is a serious challenge, so master it before introducing anything else. It may be short-lived, but you’ll leave with a sense of accomplishment.
Think pilates class with penetration. This popular position is known as a “finisher” as it allows for deep, fast thrusting. It’s particularly handy if the giver has a smaller penis but is intense, pleasurable for players of all shapes and sizes.
How to: The giver kneels while the receiver places their feet flat on either side of their partner and raises their hips. The giver can then hold onto their hips and thrust.
Dial things up: The clitoris is very exposed in this position so consider adding an insertable couples vibrator that will massage the clitoris and provide additional stimulation.
This sex position allows for deep penetration of doggy style without sacrificing intimacy. It doesn’t require too much athleticism from the receiver – after all, you’re on vacation.
How to: Lie on your right side. The penetrating partner will knee straddle the right leg, and the reclining partner will hook their left leg around their partner’s torso. You can make eye contact, and the giver can let their hands explore.
Dial it up: add a vibrator for additional clitoral stimulation.
The piledriver might be dangerous, but cowgirl has been scientifically proven to have the highest rates of injury by the number of penises battered and bruised (it has an edge, as it’s attempted far more frequently than piledriver).
Lopez explains this is because in the cowgirl sex position, the entire body rests on the penis, and a sudden movement can cause it to be “crushed or fractured” by the pubic bone.
But, there’s a reason it’s one of the most popular sex positions on the planet.
The “giver” (it’s debatable who is giving in this situation) has the benefit of a complete view of their partner. At the same time, the receiver gets to indulge in a power play and set their own pace. So, how do you pull off the sex position without ruining your summer holiday?
How to: The receiver straddles their partner facing away, grinding their hips. Lopez says it’s essential to focus on tilting the body backwards and forward to change the angle of penetration rather than “jumping” which can cause injuries above. It’s also a position that’s easier to pull off if you’ve been working on your squats, as supporting yourself with your knees, feet, and thighs will keep whole body pressure off the penis.
Dial it up: The “giver” can place a pillow under their back to tilt their pelvis skyward, making things, in Lopez’s words “one thousand times easier” and providing more support and less potential for accidents. And, use plenty of lube to make slipping and sliding a frictionless pleasure.