Single and thriving, Calah Jackson has come a long way from the woman she was during filming of The McBee Dynasty: Real American Cowboys Season 2. While she finds it difficult to relive the last few months of her tumultuous on-again, off-again relationship with Steven McBee Jr., Jackson is looking forward to her very bright future in Dallas, Texas. “Last year was a very challenging year for me,” admitted Calah. “Some time has passed, and I’m feeling really good.” After the passing of her sister and all the McBee family turmoil she’s had to deal with, Calah deserves happiness and healing.

Over the course of her time—three years—with Steven, Calah tried everything to make things between them work. “I lived out there in Missouri for a good year and a half,” said Calah. “It’s challenging to walk away from someone that you love so much, but I think that it just got to the point in our relationship where that needed to happen.” Calah acknowledged that it was the lack of “support” from Steven during her darkest days—which coincided with the FBI investigation into his father, Steve McBee—that led to the collapse of their relationship. “I tried my best to help him through his ordeal, but that care and consideration wasn’t reciprocated,” explained Calah. “I think that’s where things really started going downhill for us.”

What brought their relationship to a screeching halt was the former couple’s disastrous trip to the Ozarks with Steven’s family. “I just wanted so badly for things to work out,” remembered Calah. “I really took Steven’s word for it that it was going to be a good trip.” After being yelled at by Cole McBee after a several drinks too many, Calah confirmed that it was Steven’s outburst towards her that led to her leaving the rental house. “I definitely learned some lessons watching it back, but at the same time, I’m very proud of how I carried myself,” said Calah. “I could have popped off, but I did—for the most part—bite my tongue. Unfortunately, it played out the way it did.”

Just a few weeks after the Ozarks incident, Steven set up coffee with Calah to apologize and try to get her back into his life. “I truly think that he thought the Ozarks trip was something that I could just get over,” said Calah. “That is just crazy to me when I think about it.” Though, Calah was ready to hear him out. “We were just so up and down all the time that I was very used to his apologies,” said Calah. “It wasn’t an easy decision to walk away.” Eventually, Calah gain the strength to say goodbye to Steven and the McBees and is “excited” for her next chapter and theirs as well.

Jackson spoke to Decider over Zoom to talk about the season so far, her former relationship, and her insights into the McBee family.

DECIDER: First of all, you really were going through a lot this season. How are you doing? How is your family?

CALAH JACKSON: Last year was a very challenging year for me. Obviously, the most challenging year of my life. Though, some time has passed, and I’m feeling really good and just happy now. I’m honestly the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I’m getting back to a really good place.

And you’re back in Dallas! Was it easy to get back into the swing of things?

I am very happy to be back. As much as I enjoyed the farm life, I didn’t enjoy everything that came with it. It just feels really good to be back in Dallas. I’m from here, and my family is here. My friends that I grew up with are here. So, it’s been good.

As the season unfolds, it’s clear just how much Steven depended on you for support in dealing with his father’s situation. Was it difficult for you to shoulder that burden at that time?

Steven probably told me about the FBI investigation like six months or so before we started filming. I was the only person that knew for a very long time. I was literally his shoulder to cry on and his biggest support system through it all. It was just a very difficult time.

When we started to have problems in our relationship it became clear that I wasn’t getting the same support in return. I tried my best to help him through his ordeal, but that care and consideration wasn’t reciprocated. I think that’s where things really started going downhill for us.

Though reality TV tends to harp on the most dramatic moments of a relationship, yours and Steven’s connection often was very real and very loving. Are you able to separate the good memories from the bad and value the time you had together?

We were together for over three years. I lived out there in Missouri for a good year and a half. It’s challenging to walk away from someone that you love so much, but I think that it just got to the point in our relationship that I needed to leave. Like, there was really no coming back from everything that had gone down. It’s hard to look back and try to separate the two. It’s gonna take some time.

I want to talk about that tough trip to Ozarks with the McBees. Kristi had a lot to say about you during her confessionals, much of which I think was unfair. Were you shocked to hear her say those things about you?

I was very shocked to hear everything. Honestly, that was my first time hearing her express those thoughts about me and my relationship with Steven. I didn’t know that there was any animosity there with Kristi and the family. I was probably with them 3 or 4 times a week when I was in Missouri. If I knew there was that kind of animosity, I wouldn’t have still been there.

It was a very weird thing watching back because Kristi and I were just so close. We texted all the time. I worked with her as well. We saw each other so much. It really took me aback. With reality TV, there’s obviously just so much that’s filmed, so you can’t include everything. There were some conversations that didn’t make it make it on air. I think those moments would have really cleared up the in-betweens and the assumptions that people are making.

I really felt for you during that Ozarks trip because you clearly came in with the intention of having a good time and bonding with the McBees. Do you feel that everyone else had the same intention as you?

I’m watching back now and I feel a bit naive. I wanted so badly for things to work out. I really took Steven’s word for it that it was going to be a good trip. He said, “this will be a good steppingstone for us be on the right path in our relationship.” So, for it to all go down the way it did after I was reassured over and over again… it was kind of heartbreaking. It was difficult to watch back because it reignited those old feelings.

I thought you handled yourself very well during that conversation with a drunken Cole back at the house on that second night. I could see you physically holding back from putting him in his place and escalating the situation.

I really was trying my best [laughs].

So that’s why I thought it was so rich that Steven accused you of being immature. Was Steven not having your back what ultimately made you remove yourself from the situation?

Yes, definitely. Again, there’s so much footage that doesn’t make it on air. Watching the trip back, we all had a great time that day [laughs]. We were all feeling a little loose, a little toasty. I definitely learned some lessons watching it back, but at the same time, I’m very proud of how I carried myself. I could have popped off. I could have yelled back, but I did—for the most part—bite my tongue. Unfortunately, it played out the way it did.

What do you think about Kristi’s theory that Steve Sr. doesn’t want his boys to be in stable relationships because he wants to have them around to party with?

I do think there’s some truth to that. That was a conversation that Steven and I had many times over the course of our relationship. I also talked about it with all the girls, including Kristi herself. The boys do all have the same type of tendencies of wanting to go out, wanting to have fun. I do think that their dad definitely tries to drag them down with him.

You mentioned the girls. I loved seeing you with Kacie and Alli in happier times. Were they a support system for you when you were dating Steven?

Yeah, Kacie and I were very close. I was close with Alli as well, but I saw Kacie way more just because Alli was in the city a lot. I did consider myself very close to them. There was never anything negative between me and the girls except for them not being there for me during my time of grieving, but we were able to move past that.

I do want to talk about this week’s episode. When you walked into the coffee shop, the smile on Steven’s face was a mile wide before he started to apologize. What were your initial feelings going into that conversation?

Same thing, different day. After the Ozarks, nothing could have shocked me about our relationship. We were just so up and down all the time that I was very used to his apologies. We were always fighting and then making up. I truly think that he thought the Ozarks trip was something that I could just get over. That is just crazy to me when I think about it. I walked in, and the second I saw his grin [laughs], I was like, “oh God, here we go again.”

Steven’s apology about taking out his frustrations on you at the Ozarks was nice, but it felt late. Why did you choose to forgive him?

There were a couple weeks in between the Ozarks and his apology, so I did have time to process. I had not fully moved to Texas yet, so I’d come back to get some stuff and ended up meeting up with him. We were together for a long time. I don’t think a lot of people are aware of that. I lived there for so long that it wasn’t an easy decision to walk away. I know some viewers are probably asking why I stayed as long as I did. We were just so attached to each other. I was still teeter-tottering and trying to decide.

You also got another overdue apology from Cole, which I thought you were very gracious to accept. What did it mean to you that he swallowed his pride and did the right thing?

Apologies in this family…you just have to kind of take them with a grain of salt because you never know when the next is going to happen. They’re really good at apologizing and then doing the same thing over again. I was surprised that he even wanted to try to mend anything with me. I was open to hearing what he had to say, and I’m very happy that he did apologize. However, I’m not sure how genuine it was.

I think Cole still has a bit of growing up to do. Though, I’m hoping he’s matured a bit since becoming a father. Have you gotten to meet his or Jesse’s daughters yet?

I was keeping up with the girls on Instagram for a while, so I’ve seen pictures of the babies.They are just gorgeous. Steven and I actually met up for a press day a couple months ago, and he was showing me some pictures as well. He’s really happy to be an uncle. I’m really excited for everybody.

It looks like you and Steven are attending Jesse’s wedding together! What can you tease about the rest of the season?

That’s going to be the best episode yet. Believe it or not, there’s still a ton of drama to come. Like, a lot. A lot of drama. I’m excited to see it all play out.

Well, I’m so excited for your next chapter. Can you tell me a bit of what you’ve got going on?

So, I’m back in Dallas and working at an art gallery now. I’ve been really focused on my personal growth and getting back to a good place. As I think I said earlier, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a really, really long time. I’m just riding the wave and focusing on myself right now.

The McBee Dynasty: Real American Cowboys airs Mondays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Bravo.