Humans have been slurping soup and staring at the stars since the Stone Age, my babies.

According to the NPR, research suggests that our heavy browed, fur clad Neanderthal forbearers began boiling animal bones some 25,000 years ago, rendering the fat and drinking the broth that remained.

In our current epoch, National Soup it Forward Day is observed on March 3 to urge humans to spread love, generosity and warmth of the literal and metaphorical variety through soup. “The fundamental idea behind National Soup It Forward Day is to think about others who are less fortunate while cooking at home,” National Today explains.

In appreciation for this sentiment and the long, storied history of broth, bones, bowls and boiling we bring you a list of the zodiac signs as soups. Lift your ladle and get yourself a full bowl friends.

In terms of the physical body, Aries rules the head and tortellini pasta looks a hell of a lot like an unattractive top hat. Add to it that this cardinal fire sign is ruled by the planet of conflict and thus predisposed to wanting to be first, best and right. Consequently, the Italian provinces of Bologna and Modena have both claimed for centuries to have originated and perfected this dish. Aries are an impulsive, improvisational sort and for hundreds of years the elderly denizens of Italy would throw a half glass of red wine into their soup, presumably to cool the temperature with a digestif and cut the fat in the broth.

Taurus is the sign of appetites both carnal and caloric. In kind, potato soup is the sort, to quote the poet Robert Crawford, “that’s so thick you could shake its hand and stroll with it before dinner.” Dignified Taureans dining with their in laws might opt for a Vichyssoise but rest assured, within the gluttonous heart of every bull beats baked potato soup, rife with not one but three types of dairy, bacon confetti and senseless scallions. For similar reasons, taco soup comes in a close second.

As a mutable air sign, Gemini has a flexible relationship with facts and is apt to adapt, shape shift, upend and contradict. Lovers of language and tellers of tales this ilk is oxygenated by controversy. Thus, it tracks that twins would identify with the hotly (get it?) contested history of pho, a storied soup whose essence and origins are as difficult to pin down as Gemini energy itself.

Of all the zodiac signs, Cancer is most tightly stitched to root systems, familial foundations and nurturing. In kind, there is no more familiar or universal ‘get well soon’ sentiment than a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Ruled by the moon and prone to feeling deep and weeping often, Cancer is also the most unapologetically sentimental member of the zodiac so it tracks that their soup would be the inspiration for the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” book series designed to make people cry.

In an example of the gravitational relationships between lions and spotlights, famed artist and apex Leo Andy Warhol took the super market staple of the Campbell’s Soup can and screen printed it into infamy. The first soup the company ever produced was tomato, an homage paid by the color scheme of the can, which, like the average Leo, is nearly impossible to ignore.

Virgo rules the stomach and though they are less emotionally squishy than their Cancer cousins, they are equally adept at care taking, nurse maiding soothsaying and cure peddling. In kind, during China’s tang dynasty, its believed that medicinal herbs and plants were folded into the wontons in wonton soup to deliver hot palatable healing to those in need.

Check out more of The Post’s food astrology content:

Symbolized by the aspirational scales of balance and harmony, Libra rules the seventh house of partnerships, including but not limited to marriage. In kind, wedding soup, which spoiler alert may be more Spanish than Italian and was not, in fact, served at wedding receptions, is named for the symphonic, and ultimately more stable union of meat, broth and vegetable.

If the zodiac were a vegetable garden, Scorpio, secretive rulers of the genitalia would be the multi layered, aphrodisiacal onion. It takes time, several tests of loyalty and some therapy/necromancy to get to the inner layers of a scorpion. A similar degree of patience/time commitment is required to properly carmelize onions for this rich, dark, curative soup defined by the alchemy of simplicity. Add to the pot (I couldn’t resist) that Scorpio chef Marie Julie Grandjean Mouquin is credited with introducing this crouton classic to American palettes.

Originating in Mexico, tortilla soup, also called sopa Azteca, is a lesson in resourcefulness and optimism, two hallmarks of the Sagittarius disposition. Stale tortillas are given new life and a fryer oil baptism in this soup that’s flavored with dried chiles, a metaphor for the mutable fire of this sign. Runner up for the ever experimental, mind altering Sag would be this marijuana matzo ball soup.

Capricorn is synonymous with scarcity, dad vibes, superiority complexes and inherited lessons. In kind, miso was first introduced to the Japanese by Buddhist monks some 1300 years ago and for a time it was used as currency and its consumption was restricted to the wealthy and the noble. Pinkies out, spoons up. This is a sign that tends to get better with age, overcoming hard knock childhoods to ascend to positions of power and status. Similarly, the extended fermentation process for miso paste is what gives the soup its depth of flavor.

Ruled by Saturn and Uranus, Aquarius rides the line and the planetary divide between the orthodox and the unexpected. Associated with space travel and innovation, water bearers see themselves reflected in the gelatinous goo that is Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup, a practically imperishable substance so far removed from its source material that it could scarcely be recognized as mushroom based at all.

Ruled by Neptune and bowing always to feeling over reason, Pisces is the poet of the zodiac and never has soup given way to verse more beautifully than in the following lines from a crowdsourced poem titled “The Ceremony of Giving” that dreamily blurs mothers, moons, matzo balls, what we make with what we are made of:

I hear her voice
Are you full? Are you full?
Each matzo ball big as the moon in the sky.
Such humble nourishments.
Sometimes I forget
that poverty stuns us into brilliance.

Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars

Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.