I think I understand how the TV business works – how capitalism can eat art alive, and how creators can feel and enormous amount of pressure to cave to the demands of networks and producers in expensive suits who promise the writers and showrunners complete autonomy as long as they add seven more minutes onto an episode in order to secure a zillion dollar ad-buy from an erectile dysfunction medicine. It is, sadly, the price of success.
I am laying this all out there right before I begin to recap what happened in the seventh episode of The Bear Season 4 (“Bears”), which is also the longest episode of the season, clocking in at just under 70 minutes. Because this episode, more than any other so far in the four seasons of this show, baffled me more than any other so far. So let’s make this recap one big “Questions I Still Have” and leave it at that.
The entire episode takes place at the wedding of Richie’s ex-wife, Tiffany, and her new husband, Frank, who we are told is wealthy and has lots of money. The wedding is at his giant home and most of the guests attending are from his side of the family. We find out, throughout the episode, in little bits and pieces, that Tiff’s biological family will not be attending, but we are not given a reason. She instead extends an invitation to her ex, Richie’s chosen family – the Bears and their significant others and hangers-on – to attend despite that fact that half of them can’t be in the same room together. Remarkably, all of them manage to set aside their differences in order to celebrate the wedding of – double-checks notes – their “former cousin-but-not-by-blood-in-law” Tiff (Gillian Jacobs).
This feels like an absolute criminal offense in its use of deus ex machina. But, as we soon, find out, this plot-bending is basically an excuse so the show can have the cavalcade of guest stars, last all seen together in the pulverizing “Fishes” Christmas Eve dinner party from Season 2, appear in an episode again.
The idea that a friends-equals-family dynamic could exist is not absurd but the presumed closeness between everyone in The Bear universe runs counter to what we’ve seen so far from this show. Again – why would Tiff (and especially her new husband Frank) risk ruining their wedding (both of them specifically mention being worried about “vibes”) by inviting so many assholes she knows have the potential to seriously combust? Also worth noting that this wedding will in no way impact the survival of the troubled restaurant, whose Doomsday Clock is down to its last 20-something hours.
But that gets put on hold because we get to see Cousin Stevie and Cousin Michelle (Sarah Paulson) who flew in from New York City for this. Michelle can only spend an hour but she wouldn’t miss Tiff’s wedding for the world because…I guess it doesn’t matter why. (Michelle disappears for the rest of the episode but Stevie hangs around.)
Donna Berzatto (Jamie Lee Curtis, who won an Emmy for the “Fishes” episode) is also in attendance and informs anyone who asks that she is not drinking tonight. Uncle Lee (Bob Odenkirk), returns as Donna’s friendly (sober) companion or maybe her boyfriend, even though it appeared three episodes ago that Donna and Cicero were romantically entwined.
Since there is no time for a complete back story about how Tiff managed to stay close to her ex’s family (but not his real blood family) we can find one sequence as to how the writers duct-taped this all togther based on the short exposition about why Chester (pastry chef Marcus’s roommate) and Marcus are also at this goddamn wedding.
CHESTER: “Frank’s mom is best friend’s with my mom and I used to work for Frank…”
And then his mom gave Chester a plus one to her son’s wedding so he brought Marcus because who else would he bring? God is in the machine, people. God is in the fucking machine.
So let’s try to unpack some of what’s happening here. There were hints of a beef between Sugar Nat and the Fak sister, Francie Fak, for a couple episodes and now the two will finally collide at this wedding. Francine is played by Academy Award-winner Brie Larson. And because she is a Fak she is contractually obligated to have an embarrassing stooge-off with Sugar.
Who knows what that is about – this show is overconfident that it will continue to win many of the top television awards even if it stops caring about making award-worthy television.
What I’ve gathered is that having a Francine Fak is simply to add another celebrity appearance for clout purposes. You’ll remember that Sammy Fak was portrayed by John Cena last season. And now here’s Captain Marvel to chew up some more scenery at the expense of the plot. If there is a season five, I hope they take fan service to absurd new heights. Why not bring in a Gramma Fak and have her played by a hologram of Bea Arthur? Or how about cousin Percy Fak played by Idris Elba? If plot and character continuity no longer matter here, there are limitless possibilities!
But, even after all that, this episode still manages to resolve most of Carmy’s emotional loose ends all at once. Carmy interacts with his mother without incident and is open to reconnecting with her. Carmy also gets some one-on-one time with Uncle Lee who drops this bombshell: despite how many forks he threw at him and how many times he called him a loser, he and Mikey were getting along right before he died. Okay! And then, finally, he and Claire get some one-on-one mush time which eventually leads to a slow-dance and re-coupling. Everything is coming up Carmy.
Another conflict in play here: Richie’s 7-year-old daughter Evie is also quietly suffering. That gets resolved by taking all the guest stars and putting them all under one giant guest table in order to help Richie’s 7-year-old daughter Eva get over her fear of doing a step-daddy-daughter dance with Frank. One by one, the entire cast makes their way under the table. Everyone under the table has to share their own fears: we hear who is afraid of bees, heights, AI, big dogs, losing people you love – everyone is afraid of something, Evie learns. And then they all take a selfie together – why wait for the SAG awards, right?
Finally, Evie gets the courage to dance with Frank and Richie gets to feel like a decent man and that everything in his life will be okay. Hooray.
I know – it’s weird and unnecessary to be so thoroughly annoyed by a TV show that is, for the most part, very entertaining or at the very least, interesting to watch. What I enjoyed the most about the first and part of the second season was that the Berzatto family disease lacked an easy solution and the writing never allowed for that to happen. This was what made it an important show, in my opinion, especially for adult children of alcoholics who rarely get to see the weight that they carry displayed on TV so thoughtfully.
But, man, like what on earth is the point of laying that groundwork only to dig it up and toss it our faces with these inane Fak sublplots and then resolve some of life’s heavier moments at a ding-dong wedding? Life just doesn’t work that way. Everybody knows that – the writers know that. That’s the point, right? That everything falls apart.
MIDDLE-AGED DAD NEEDLEDROP: “Throw Your Arms Around Me” by Hunters and Collectors. A Chris Storer classic and Pearl Jam superfan favorite.
CARMY ARM PORNOGRAPHY: NONE. He dressed in a suit and did not cut the sleeves off. So instead, let’s try some PETE SHOCKED THAT HIS WIFE HOOKED UP WITH CAPTAIN MARVEL PORNOGRAPHY.
Can’t get enough of The Bear Season 4? For more insight, analysis, GIFs, and close-ups of Carmy’s arms, check out some highlights of Decider’s coverage:
A.J. Daulerio is a Los Angeles-based writer and editor. He is also the founder of The Small Bow, a recovery newsletter.