The documentary We Live Here: The Midwest (now streaming on Hulu) spotlights a handful of LGBTQ+ families who are outliers in their stereotypically conservative middle-America communities. Director Melinda Maerker and co-creator David Miller spend 53 minutes listening to their subjects share their struggles and passions – and hope to expand the concept into a series (in a recent Deadline piece, they stated their desire to do the same in the U.S. South). The current film pieces together a series of vignettes asserting that love is love no matter where you live.
The Gist: “Here in Iowa, there’s something called ‘Iowa Nice,’” Des Moines resident Nia says. “It’s really ‘Iowa Passive-aggressiveness.’” She’s experienced that thing a lot, being a man who transitioned to female. Her story is mostly a happy one, though – her family stayed together during the transition, with partner Katie discovering she’s “ambiguously queer,” and their five children just rolling with it, no longer calling Nia “Dad,” but “Mommo.” But yes, there’s that qualifier: mostly happy. Nia’s parents and sister no longer talk to her – only her brother accepted the change – and once her transition became public, the family was forced out of the nondenominational evangelical church where Katie was a pastor. It was a progressive church, but not that progressive, it turns out, and now they’re left without a community cornerstone, and wonder if they’d be happier and more accepted if they lived elsewhere.
Nia and Katie’s life together touches on a variety of issues facing LGBTQ+ families living in “traditional family values”-type locales. The film highlights a few more stories that are variations on that theme:
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: The 2020 Hulu documentary about trans kids who want to play sports, Changing the Game, has really hung with me for its thoughtful and nuanced approach to the topic. It’d make a fine companion piece to We Live Here.
Performance Worth Watching: I’m just going to say that anyone who’s willing to potentially risk being on the receiving end of abuse and threats for speaking openly about their lives in a Hulu documentary is showing significant bravery.
Memorable Dialogue: “Our world is changing whether people like it or not.” – Jenn’s daughter Mikayla cuts to the heart of the issue
Sex and Skin: None.
Our Take: Maerker and Miller present a couple of answers to these families’ conundrums: One is Russ giving his students a place to fully be themselves, and his partner Mark emphasizes how we as a country need to communicate better in towns both large and small. The other is a too-brief, frustratingly vague three-minute segment on Representative Heather Keeler of Minnesota, a queer, Indigenous politician who “turns pain into policy” and continues to fight for legislation to protect families like we see in We Live Here.
Not that their goal is to solve sweeping societal issues, mind you. The primary focus of the film is to drop in on the lives of 21st-century nuclear families, get a sense of their joys and struggles, and better understand their situations. The subtext here? These are snapshots of love in a variety of forms, among families who’ve learned to change the way they’re thinking – to evolve – alongside their loved ones. You’ll wish the film ran a little longer and looked a little more intently into its subjects, good people who have summoned the courage to share their deeply personal, sometimes traumatic stories with the world, which can be cold and judgmental, but also warm and accepting. We should never, ever discount the strength it takes to make that gamble.
Our Call: Although it’s a touch shallow, We Live Here: The Midwest is a thoughtful, insightful documentary that provides a platform for underrepresented people in American society. STREAM IT.
John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.