Hey, remember Tom Brady? Of course you do. Not only is he arguably the greatest NFL player of all time, but he’s been an inescapable media presence for more than two decades. Well, now he’s part-owner of an English soccer club! That’s the gist of Built in Birmingham: Brady and the Blues, a new docuseries on Amazon Prime Video.
Opening Shot: A gritty establishing shot of Birmingham, and then we cut to Tom Brady being driven into town in the back of a car. He’s asking very basic questions about English soccer, which raises the very basic question about why he’s suddenly part-owner of an English soccer club. Then we get a big montage about how Tom Brady is successful at everything he does, so I guess that’s why.
The Gist: Tom Brady is now part owner of a soccer club. That’s the headline, but the pilot is focused on showing American viewers what Birmingham is like, where Birmingham FC stands in the grand scheme of things, and how Tom Brady’s money is going to fix everything. It’s high-energy, with a lot of graphics and montages and music, occasionally dropping into shots of Tom Brady looking lost in Birmingham.
What Shows Will It Remind You Of?The producers of this show are very much hoping that it reminds you of Welcome to Wrexham, but also maybe Ted Lasso, and also some Guy Ritchie films. Oh, and Tom Brady: Man in the Arena, but only if you enjoyed that series. (I didn’t.)
Our Take: I do not find Tom Brady compelling, and you cannot make me do so.
Don’t get me wrong — I’m not claiming that Tom Brady is not great, like those weird guys online who exist only to claim that LeBron James sucks whenever LeBron James is mentioned. I fully acknowledge that Tom Brady was a great football player, quite possibly the greatest football player of all time. He was successful far longer than anyone could have imagined, and deserving of all the praise he got as a football player.
I do not, however, find Tom Brady to be interesting or charming or entertaining in any context other than playing football. This is a problem going into Built in Birmingham: Brady and the Blues, a show predicated on Tom Brady’s charm and celebrity. Of course, should you need a reminder, the pilot spends a few deeply-unnecessary minutes reintroducing us to Brady, with bio footage pointing out such how-could-you-forget tidbits like DID YOU KNOW HE WAS DRAFTED IN THE SIXTH ROUND and HEY LOOK HE DIDN’T LOOK SUPER ATHLETIC IN HIS NFL COMBINE PHOTO. It’s an experience a bit like watching yet another filmmaker kill Bruce Wayne’s parents; we do not need the origin story.
Anyways. Tom Brady bought a share in Birmingham FC, a formerly-successful English soccer club, for reasons that are unclear beyond “he is rich, and bored, and has the means to do so.” From the opening minutes, we’re shown that Brady’s knowledge of English soccer is thin even by American standards. Maybe they’re hoping for a Ted Lasso thing here? Problem is, Jason Sudeikis is extremely charming, and also has a room full of writers to help him make his character even more charming. Tom Brady, well — you already know where I stand on this.
There’s a minor cottage industry developing around the idea of American (and/or Canadian) celebrities getting involved with down-on-their-luck European soccer clubs, the most obvious example being Welcome to Wrexham, the FX/Hulu series following movie star Ryan Reynolds and TV star Rob McElhenney’s revival of Welsh club Wrexham AFC, a partnership that’s seen the club promoted three tiers in three seasons. More recently, there’s been the debut of ESPN’s Running With the Wolves, following celebrity couple Mark Consuelos and Kelly Ripa’s purchase of lower-tier Italian club Campobasso FC.
Built in Birmingham follows that same formula, but with more swagger and less (here’s that word again) charm. We’re starting with a bigger celebrity, more money, and a club that–while admittedly less currently-successful than its supporters would prefer–has a much larger profile than Wrexham or Campobasso. This isn’t a small-town story, it’s a big club in the UK’s second-largest city, and it’s got some big money coming in to help. Tellingly, a lot of screentime goes to Brady’s business partner, the co-owner of the investment firm that’s providing much of the financing here. This is a story only marginally more “underdog” than that of an oil tycoon buying a Premier League Club.
The pilot burns half its runtime braying about how good all this is going to go before focusing on anything to actually do with the management of the club, and that’s where this show really falls flat. The success of Wrexham and the charm of Running With the Wolves is that those shows–and their respective celebrity owners–really seem to care about getting into the nitty-gritty of reviving their clubs. I’m not convinced that Brady–or the filmmakers here–feel the same way, and this ultimately feels like a hollow exercise with high production values, a celebrity vehicle with no script but a lot of flashy graphics.
Sex and Skin: None. I’m not sure how you would’ve worked any in, but it might’ve been a nice change of pace.
Parting Shot: To close out the 2023-24 campaign, Birmingham FC faces a dire proposition: they need to win their final match and have other clubs lose to avoid relegation
to League One, the third tier of the English football pyramid and what would be their lowest position in thirty years. “I just don’t want to us to fuckin’ get relegated, because that’s very damaging to everything we’re doing,” Brady notes, sharp as ever with the color commentary. I’ll spoil it for you: they win, but they don’t get the help they need, and they get relegated. Clearly, this is meant to set up a Sunderland ‘Til I Die arc for the rest of the season, but you can also just look up how the club does without watching more of this show.
Sleeper Star: Everything stays so focused on Brady’s celebrity, there’s little room for a sleeper star to emerge in the pilot. Given that, I’ll note that the music is done by longtime British hip-hop artist The Streets, who is from Birmingham. Original Pirate Material was a great album.
Most Pilot-y Line: “Birmingham City Football Club”, Tom Brady says, befuddled, to his phone as he’s lost on his way to practices. “That’s the owner, right there, he doesn’t know where his training facility is,” Brady’s manager giggles from the backseat. This is supposed to be endearing, I think? Instead, it’s just baffling why any of this is happening.
Our Call: SKIP IT. I’m sure Tom Brady owns lots of other things, too. Maybe a yacht or a golf course. I don’t need to watch documentaries on those, either.
Scott Hines, publisher of the widely-beloved Action Cookbook Newsletter, is an architect, blogger and proficient internet user based in Louisville, Kentucky.