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NY Post
New York Post
4 Apr 2023


NextImg:Sorry boomers, millennials call BS on ‘work wife’ excuse

Millennials are divorced from the idea of having a “work spouse.” 

The generation born between 1981 and 1996 apparently disapproves of the typically platonic office relationship dubbed the “work husband” or “work wife,” according to a poll conducted by Redfield & Wilton Strategies for Newsweek.

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This month, 1,500 US adults were asked about relationships in the workplace and their opinion on work spouses, defined in the poll as “a co-worker with whom someone shares a special relationship that can include a bond similar to a marriage.”

Of those surveyed, 21% said it’s fine to have a work spouse, while 45% called it inappropriate. But opinions were divided based on differing generations. 

Indeed, 57% of millennials polled in the survey – identified between the ages of 25 and 34 – gave a thumbs down to the idea of having a work spouse. Just 18% said it was okay; 17% said it depends on the circumstances; and 8% were undecided. 

According to the survey, 57% of millennials — identified between the ages of 25 and 34 — don’t support the notion of having a work spouse.
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Gen Zers surveyed (born between 1997 and 2012), meanwhile, seemed to be more on board with the idea of a work spouse with just 39% disapproving. Similarly, just 40% of baby boomers (born between 1946 and 1964) said they were against this type of relationship. None of the participants surveyed were perpetually overlooked Gen Xers (born between 1965 and 1980).

Career experts say millennials in particular may be against the notion because many of that generation (aged between 27 and 42) are likely more focused on starting and raising families than building in-office relationships.

“I’m not surprised the millennials have a different perspective because it has a lot to do with generational expectations. They’re at a particular inflection point where they’re focusing their energy and attention on raising families — they may already be in relationships whereas Gen Z may not be,” Roy Cohen, a New York City-based career coach, told The Post. 

Cohen notes that having a bond with a colleague at work could be beneficial for entry-level employees seeking guidance and mentorship from co-workers. Baby boomers, who are age 55 and up, could also find benefits in remaining close with a colleague to maintain longevity in their job. 

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A group of colleagues gathered together around a laptop in the office.
Career coach Roy Cohen says when a workplace relationship goes from platonic to romantic, it can cause friction among other employees in the office, who may think that one of the partners is getting special treatment.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

“For baby boomers it’s sort of like, ‘I’ve been married a long time and this notion of a work spouse isn’t going to jeopardize my relationship. It may enhance my life on the job and make me more valuable,’ ” Cohen explained.

“Early on in one’s career and later in one’s career we need to rely on one’s organizational support system to assimilate in the younger years and for survival when employees age in the workplace.” 

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Cohen suggested using the term “work partner” rather than work wife or work husband to stress the platonic undertone. He noted that while there are professional benefits to workplace relationships, those that turn romantic can cause friction for other employees.

“It can undermine morale or look as though decisions are being made unfairly, and if they’re not, it still may be misread,” Cohen explained.

Colleagues working together.
Cohen advises using the term “work partner” instead of “work spouse” to avoid any romantic connotations.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

While the relationship between work spouses is typically platonic, one employee, who was referred to by the alias Emily, told Newsweek that she married her work husband. 

“We started working in the same department and got on extremely well,” Emily, 32, said.

While her office relationship blossomed romantically, she believes it is possible for two colleagues to remain work spouses without developing feelings for each other.

“I think they can be platonic, however I also believe that work husband/wife relationship fills in a void that exists in someone’s romantic relationship,” she told the publication.

“Most work husbands/wives will never become romantic, but I think it’s a great opportunity for people to realize that there is something that they are missing at home that they are getting from this close work relationship.”